Oh, Heaven!

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Time Travel

MUCH RESPECT TO WHOEVER WROTE THIS ARTICLE

It is a mistake to think time is going. Time is not going. Time is here until the world ends. It is you that is going. You don’t waste time. Time is infinite. You waste yourself. You are finite. It is you that grows old and die. Time doesn’t. So make better use of yourself before you expire.

And one of the worst things to do with time is comparing yourself to others. A cow eats grass and gets fat but if dog eats grass, it will die. Never compare yourself with others. Run your race. What works for one person may be that which will kill another. Focus on the gifts and talents God gave you and don’t be envious of the blessings He gave others.

Both Lion and Shark are professional hunters, BUT:
A Lion cannot hunt in the Ocean and a Shark cannot hunt in the jungle.
That a Lion cannot hunt in the ocean doesn’t make him useless and that a Shark cannot hunt in the jungle doesn’t also make it useless both have their own territory where they can do well.

If a rose smells better than tomatoes, It doesn’t mean that rose can make a better stew. Don’t try to compare yourself to others. You also have your own strength, look for it and build on it.

All animals that exist, were in Noah’s ark. A snail is one of those animals. If God could wait long enough for snails to enter Noah’s ark; His door of grace won’t close till you reach your expected position in life. Never look down on yourself, keep looking up.

Remember that Broken crayons still colour.
Keep on pushing, you never can tell how close you are to your goal…!

Q & A with Dr Linda

Question

Regarding the past, is one obliged to tell his fiance every relationship one had had in the past, both good and bad?

Answer

The answer is no.

The only relationship that your fiance should know about is the ones that directly affect him i.e. those that have altered you emotionally or physically.

I do not mean that you should give the full details of the past relationships.

You are not trying to hide your past per se, but let him understand and know what he is getting and also the baggage you are bringing in with you.

For example, if you have lost your virginity or damaged your reproductive system, he should be aware.

It is the outcome of those relationships and how they directly affect him and not the number of guys you have dated and the number you slept with.

Your fiance will not benefit from gist of your past relationships. The good ones will only make him jealous and if I may ask, if they were good, why did you leave them?

If your past has been bad, tell him and of course also tell him about how you have moved from that kind of life.

Remember that lies will only last for a while.

Do not do this at the beginning of the relationship but when you are sure the person can handle it and, of course, not after formal introduction or few days to the wedding else it would appear as an attempt to set him up or corner him. He will need time to process the information. Make sure you are considerate enough to give him that.

If you speak the truth and he decides to leave, then he is not meant for you.

Just know that not every man can handle your past, just as not every man can handle your future. Pray then that God will send you one who can love you in spite of your past.

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Q & A with Dr Linda

Question

How can someone be sure that this person is the will of God for him?

Answer:

Knowing the will of God concerning anything is simple. Just ask him.

The issue is actually not how to know His will but being able to hear Him speak to you what His will is.

Psalm 103:7 He made his ways known unto Moses and his acts unto the children of Israel.

His way is how he wants things to be done which also means His will.

Moses got access to His ways/will but the rest of the children of Israel could only see what God could do.

The difference was relationship .

Moses spoke to God face to face whereas when the children of isreal were invited to meet with God, they ran away .

Numbers 12 :7, 8a My servant Moses is not so,who is faithful in all mine house. With him will I speak mouth to mouth even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the Lord shall he behold…

It was easy for Moses to know the will of God because he was close to God. He spent time with Him and came back with his face shinning.

If you want to know what God’s will is concerning your life including your choice of spouse, all you have to do is cultivate a close relationship with him. In that way, when he speaks, you will hear him.

The problem of Christians is not the ability to hear God because Jesus said my sheep hear my voice. You have the ability to hear God . The only problem is the sensitivity to hear Him when He speaks.

You sharpen your sensitivity to hear Him by communing with Him by His word and prayer.

When this is in place, and you ask Him if he or she is the one, you will be sensitive enough to hear the answer.

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Q & A with Dr Linda

Question

How can I help control the anger of my partner? If I do talk to her she always misunderstands all my talks. We fight over small issues. How can this be resolved?

Answer.
The first thing here is that both of you are not communicating. Both are talking but no communication hence the misunderstanding.
I would advise that you take a different approach to communicating.
Next time you have an issue, look for a time when you can talk to her calmly and she can receive you the same way. If things start getting heated up, postpone the discussion and let her know that both of you or she is too angry to continue.
The second issue is that you cannot control another person’s anger. You do not have control over another person”s emotions. You can stir it up but not control it. It is up to her to be able to take steps to control her emotions.
The best way to take control over anger is God’s word. The word has the power you need to overcome it and grow to the extent that you can choose not to get angry in annoying situations. It is called being spirit controlled. The control is entirely up to her.
You can also encourage her to take
these steps.
If she is not interested in working on her anger, then I would advise you to reconsider the relationship.
A person easily given to anger is usually out of control and is unpredictable.
Prov 21:19
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.
Prov 22:24
Make no friendship with an angry man;and a furious man,thou shalt not go.
Prov 29:22.
An angry man stirreth up strife,and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Q & A with Dr Linda

Question

What will you do if your partner always accuse you of lying and you always tell the truth with no lie?

Answer:

If you are always telling the truth and your partner does not believe you, then there is a problem. A relationship without trust is like a building without a foundation, it will surely collapse.

Two things come to my mind.

It is either you have broken trust in the past and your partner does not believe you anymore so that no matter what you do now, the lie is hanging over your head.

It is easier and faster to destroy than to build.

What you must do is try to first apologise for the lie(s) then take deliberate steps to prove that you have changed and that the lie is in the past. You also have to be patient because it is not automatic. Building is always tedious and time consuming.

You will also get hurt in the process because you will experience first hand how the lie has damaged the person.

On the other hand, the person may have been hurt in the past by someone else. Remember the pitfall of the past discussed previously. In this case, the problem is not you but your partner and the experience.

The lack of trust here is just for self preservation.

What you have to do is pray for the person, then use love as a weapon to break down the wall. It will also take time with a lot of patience.

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Relationship Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them. PT 11

By Linda Oyanna

Continued from Pt 10

I have been talking about some of these pitfalls and what we can do to prevent them from occurring. This is the last on my list which is by no means exhaustive.

Unrealistic expectations.

Everyone has a picture of the ideal relationship especially those drawn from movies and romance novels. Please, note that most of those are make believe, they do not exist because people are not perfect. Not every guy is tall dark and handsome with 6 packs. Not all ladies have the perfect shape in the soap opera you watch. Do not make unrealistic demands on him or her.

Anytime you call, he must answer and chat with you for 30 mins. What if he is at work? He should leave his job and chat with you? When he gets fired, we will see how romantic that can be.

She is dating you so must not greet any other guy else, she is cheating. Please, reconsider.

How do I avoid this?

First, realize the world does not revolve around you. You are one out of the billions of people in the world so try to also consider other people. Give others the benefit of a doubt especially the one you are dating. Give the person space to breathe and be understanding.

In conclusion, I will say that it is possible to have a relationship that is free from all these baggage and problems if we decide to be honest with ourselves and the ones we are dating and do what we need to do to clear the debris from our path.

It is God’s desire that you enjoy your relationship because that is what really gives him joy and brings glory to his name.

You’re blessed.

… Continues as “Q & A with Dr Linda”

See Part 10: https://pdlionunlimited.wordpress.com/?p=1913

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Relationship Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them. PT 10

By Linda Oyanna

Continued from Pt 9

I am talking about some of these pitfalls and what we can do to prevent them from occurring.

The past

People go through bad relationships and come out with bad experiences but they do not wait to heal first before jumping into new relationships. They carry the baggage of the last one into the new one and punish the new person for the sins of the last boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some come into the new relationship armed with all manner of attitudes in order to deal with the new guy or girl if there is any slight indication of strange behaviour. The unfortunate thing is that the new partner will be completely oblivious of the real problem and be wondering why his or her actions or inactions are causing so much reaction not knowing that he or she is actually dating two people in one. There is usually a lot of suspicion from the hurt partner.

How do I avoid this?

Allow yourself to heal before you start another relationship. Time doesn’t heal emotional wounds; God does. Let God work in you and remove the hurt so you can enjoy the relationship you will eventually enter.

A new relationship will not alleviate the hurt either.

If you are in this position, be frank with yourself and go to God to heal you. Stop punishing the new guy or girl because they did not cause your pain. It is unfair to punish him or her.

Continues as part 11

See Part 9: https://pdlionunlimited.wordpress.com/?p=1912

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Relationship Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them. PT 9.

By Linda Oyanna

Continued from Pt 8

I am talking about some of these pitfalls and what we can do to prevent them from occurring.

Lies

Anything built on lies will never last. No matter how long truth is covered, it will always prevail.

Lies can only get you so far and whatever you lie to get will be lost eventually and will publicly disgrace you.

When truth uncovers lies, it never does it in secret.

Lies always lead to public embarrassment.

There are people who believe that lying in a relationship is not a bad idea as long as it gets you what you want or puts the other person exactly where you want him/her to be.

When the truth is revealed, you will lose every form of credibility which you may not have the chance to rebuild. Lies have destroyed relationships and marriages.

How do I avoid this?

Always speak the truth. It is the truth that will make you free and the foundation of truth is always sure. My husband always says if you want to know a person, give him the truth and see the person’s reaction. The person will either side with the truth or against the truth this revealing himself.

If you lose a relationship because you spoke the truth, then that relationship was never meant to be yours. The good thing is that God will reward you for standing for the truth.

… Continues as part 10

See Part 8: https://wp.me/p6rlMY-uI

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Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.

Someone sent in a question based on Relationship pitfalls Part 2. You should go through it. https://wp.me/p6rlMY-tY

In part 2, I was speaking about dating an immature person. What do you do if you are already married to an immature person?

First, you have your work cut out for you. The onus is now on you to help the person grow and be a better spouse. You do not have a choice but how you go about it is now the issue. If your spouse is the immature one,then being immature too will only ruin things. Trying to keep mute in order to keep your peace or trying to stay sane is just going to frustrate you the more. There will be peace in the environment but serious turmoil in your heart.

Instead of working from outwards- in, you have to work inwards-out.

First thing is to anchor your peace or sanity in God and his word. Sanity and peace from God is not affected by what is happening around you or what your spouse does.

Jn 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

2Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

God is the only one that can give you peace and sanity that the world cannot understand. Things are not what they should be but you are not troubled but happy and at peace.
So, go to God and his word

Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

So the first person to work on and pray for is yourself so you can stand strong.

It is only the peace that is in your spirit that can flow out to calm the storms in your marriage.

The bible says out of your belly shall flow rivers of life giving water or rivers of living water.

Secondly, walk in love.
You have to love your spouse no matter what the person is doing. This part is hard right? You will think it is but you can be greatly helped by a God who loved us while we were yet sinners.

The truth is ,if you do not love your spouse, you can’t help the person. You know why?

Gal 5:6 For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but FAITH WHICH WORKETH BY LOVE.

The faith you need to exercise for your spouse to change is fuelled, energized ,driven and propelled by love. God can’t partner with hate, complaint and anger. He is Love and will partner with you when you reflect him.

Those who have issues with their spouses and hate their spouses or wish them bad won’t see the change they desire unless they walk in love.
Still be a wife to him in all aspects because you are now walking in Agape which is the highest form of love.

When love is in place, the next thing to do is pray for your spouse. Take the person to God. He is now a care and God said

1Pet 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Talk to God about your spouse and God will give you the wisdom you need for things to turn around.
God will reach out to your spouse and touch his heart.

Lastly, you have to exercise patience

Heb 6:15 And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.

Things may not turn around under 24 hours but it definitely would.
God is a father who delivers on his promises and those who put their trust in him will never ever be put to shame.

So now that you are on the same page with God concerning your spouse, wait patiently by speaking God’s word over your husband and marriage as you expect your victory.

I trust that this wil help you.

By Dr Linda Oyanna