Continued from “PORNOGRAPHY: KICK IT!… 1”
A: How are you doing today?
Q: I’m fine. Taking things one day at time.
A: That’s what it will eventually come to but rather than it being one struggle day at a time, it will be one victory day at a time.
A: Question, if you don’t mind.
A: Have you ever faced this stuff and dealt with it squarely or you just got preoccupied with the Christian group and it seemed to die off?
Q: I will say yes.
A: How exactly?
Q: So I spoke to the Pastor of my group, and then we prayed together. He basically became my accountability partner. Then I personally went to God with the issue in fasting and prayers.
A: And it went away? In your prayers and fasting, did you repent of it? Did you “ask him for forgiveness” as we say or receive forgiveness as in released of the error, guilt, and shame?
A: Do you think he forgave you?
A: OK. So why did you return to it this time?
Q: I don’t know. I think I let my guard down. I let my guard down … Not I think.
A: So, the solution is to get your guard back up then, isn’t it?
A: You let your guard down, perhaps, but what door did you open? What was the “excuse” this time? Last time it was the passing of your Dad.
Q: Paying attention to patterns, the temptation is strongest when I get a feeling I best describe as “loneliness”.
A: Now you’re talking! Loneliness!
You felt alone when your Dad passed, it was subdued by fellowship with Saints and perhaps the accountability thing with your Pastor, and when you were left to stand on your own, you went back to being lonely. That loneliness is the choice you make and that is the hook. It is the final unfortunate conclusion of your self-depreciation. You knock yourself down so bad that you feel bad and feel like a bad boy and then you lash out at your own conscience and just hurt yourself deliberately.
This is what I think is going on.
A: I think ever before your Dad passed, you had a low view of yourself but he was one person who either believed in you or you always strove to please because he will notice it and say something you craved.
Q: Both actually. He believed in me and I strove to please him.
A: Clarify? You sound like a first born.
Q: I am the first born … I am the only boy.
My dad always reminded me that I was his only son… That I was smart and could do amazing things. He made me attempt exams a year ahead of regular schedules. He would take me to meetings where older people were and confidently ask for my opinion.
A: And he passed away before you made a personal connection with the only person that is truly worthy of that kind of hero worship. But then, you met Pastor and the group and instead of connecting at the level of your real need and pain, you surrounded yourself with good company and godly mind-occupying church activities and they became the “fix it” for you. The group sought your opinion just like your Dad did, believed in you and praised you and you were driven to meet up with their faith in you. All this is actually good but it wasn’t the treatment you needed. It helped you cope, like a stimulant or heroine, until the drug started wearing off and the withdrawal symptoms started to show. And you felt it’s because you let your guard down whereas the real problem is that you have never known Jesus as your own personal person; your hero who will never leave you nor forsake you … the one who is both the fix and the cure.
As I said before, the issue is not that you let your guard down. If that was it, you should have been into all sorts of things. By the way, it’s not you who guards yourself.
1Cor 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
Jude 1:24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
2Tim 1:12… for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.
A: It has never been up to you and how much self-control you could exercise.
A: You thought you were better than this. In the ideal situation, I would agree with you but considering how I think you have been going about it, as in by your own strength and discipline, I will not agree with you. You’re not better than sin. Sin is better than all of us if not the Bible would not have said “all have sinned”. Left alone, sin gains the upper hand over us.
The only cure is to stop being alone and hook up, really hook up to the strength of God. This is the part of the grace message that is often not mentioned. We mention the part about your performance not being necessary for the love of God and that is too correct. But we forget that God still hates sin. Yes he has dealt with the sin nature but that is to the effect that he has given us power to overcome it. That power is the other half of the grace.
He loves me unconditionally + He empowers me to live like He wants me to = Grace.
Sorry, I seem to be raining down on you
2Cor 12:8-10. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
When Paul was talking here, he wasn’t referring to unconditional love of God when he said “Grace”, he was referring to the unrelenting unconditionally bestowed strength of God to face difficulties even if such difficulties were actually weaknesses.
Paul was saying, I am not stronger than I ever have been, but I have been strengthened. You will agree there is a difference, won’t you?
Q: I agree.
A: I may stumble in the employment of the strength but there is no condemnation for me so I will access that strength again by the spirit of God that raised up Christ from the dead. That was his whole gist in Romans chapters 7 and 8. I do believe you are familiar with these scriptures or should I bring them here?
Q: I will like to see them here.
A: Awwwwww meeeeehn, I thought you were Bible scholar now.
Rom 7:15 – Rom 8:14
For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that [it is] good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but [how] to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace. Because the carnal mind [is] enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ [be] in you, the body [is] dead because of sin; but the Spirit [is] life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Ya happy now?
Q: 😀 Thank you
A: Naaa… Not a problem. Shall we proceed?
… part 3