Q: An unbeliever [in Christ] who had three women, of which he married only one, and has kids by all three, has now given his life to Christ. What should he do now that he is in Christ? Should he send the other two away or should he marry them properly?


The foundation of marriage is God. God is the creator of marriage and when he created it, it wasn’t with respect to human civilizations, emotions or logic. He created it because it was not good for the man to be alone. That alone tells me something: Adam didn’t know it was not good, he didn’t even realize he was alone…he wasn’t; he had God. But God, who knows more than even the unspoiled, pristinely wise man could ever know, knew that the man needed a companion of his type and so God made a woman. However, it was Adam who chose his wife. God didn’t force Eve on Adam but God recognized, respected and held him responsible for his choice.

Please, note that all this happened before sin came into the picture of humanity, before the promise of redemption was made, before the Abrahamic covenant of prosperity was struck and before the Mosaic Law was instituted. Hence Jesus, when confronted with what is right or wrong concerning some other marriage related issues referred to the master plan by saying, “in the beginning, it was not so”. Matthew 19:8

This means that the matter of what is right and what is wrong in life is not based on any of these tools or parameters that we have come to know from the bible, let alone our own logic based legal system, but on God and his point of view alone. Of course, God presents His view point in the Bible which is why we have to refer to it. Therefore whether a person is saved or not, under the Mosaic law or not, Jew or Gentile, B.C. or A.D., what is wrong is wrong whether the person feels so or not, is aware of it or not, or whether he will be condemned for it or not.

This means, even unbelievers are standing before God and he judges them as fornicators and adulterers if they are involved in such. Consider this scripture:

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

1Co 6:11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Amplified says, “And such some of you were [once]. But you were washed clean (purified by a complete atonement for sin and made free from the guilt of sin), and you were consecrated (set apart, hallowed), and you were justified [pronounced righteous, by trusting] in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the [Holy] Spirit of our God.”

The above verses were written initially to a set of Gentile Christians. It says they were at one time all these sinful things but now being saved are no more such. Now, why would God accuse people who never knew the Law of Moses, nor our bible, of right and wrong?

Rom 2:12 For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law;

Rom 2:13 (For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.

Rom 2:14 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves:

Rom 2:15 Which show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another.

While they didn’t have the law, they did have their consciences and by that, they knew what was right or wrong at least by the standards imposed on them by their own consciences. So, based on the awareness of right and wrong, thanks to Adam and the fruit he chose to eat, God holds mankind guilty or innocent of violations of their conscience.

So that means, while it is true that God will not condemn a soul to eternal damnation because of sexual sin, He will judge that soul for doing what is wrong. If you refer to Revelation 20:11-15, you will see the Books of Works out of which each man’s actions are judged and the second book which is the Book of Life out of which a man himself is judged and his soul is condemned to die the second death.

Based on the afore going, it means an unbeliever who is engaged in sexual immorality knows he or she is in error but lacks the power that our faith in Christ gives us to turn away once the hooks are sunk in. Of course, he can continue until he no longer cares (which is referred to as a seared conscience in 1Timothy 4:2) but whenever he does meet with the light of the gospel, he immediately mourns his past actions and this shows that he knew it was wrong to do those things but simply didn’t care. We can find an example of such in the interaction between Jesus and the Samaritan woman whom Jesus told has had multiple men and even her current man was not hers. John 4:16-18. Notice the woman raised no defence for herself.

More to come in part 2.



  1. Thanks for the insight. I don’t know what you have in mind for the next part but this question kept coming to my mind that IF THAT PAID ALL THE RIGHT (E.I. BRIDE PRICE ETC.) ON ALL THE THREE WOMEN HE MARRIED. WHAT WILL HE DO?


  2. My thoughts, sorry to preempt 🙂
    He has married one. The others are partners in fornicating. He has a responsibility to provide and care for the children, but should let the unmarried women find their own husbands.

    If he married all three by traditional methods, then he keeps them; but if he married one under a legal (one man one wife) contract or covenant, only to go and ‘marry’ the others by ‘traditional’ he has to repent and release the products of bigamy too.


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