Hi. We are still looking at the common factors that people consider as markers to begin dating.
You may catch up with the last in this series here http ://wp.me/p6rlMY-9W
We are ready for #4.
WHEN SHOULD I START DATING?
Common reason #4: Tired of being single.
I’ve heard folks say this a lot and I’m sure you have too. “Abeg, I’m tired of being single, jare”. At one point, I felt that way too. I didn’t always know this but now, my answer is “So you think marriage is a holiday?”
Most of us have the erroneous idea that, post wedding, our lives would simply be one long drawn out honey moon, where we have money stocked up enough to live in slow motion, no hurry to get out of bed in the morning, order room service, watch TV and “play” all day.
I don’t know why, but it seems we forget how tedious running the homes where we grew up was for our own parents. Some of us who are privileged to be the first born of large families also saw how things got tougher and our parents had to work harder with each additional child they had and yet as we approach marriage, our minds are so fixated on the wedding that we forget the life that would follow after the honeymoon.
I’ve met ladies who expressed shock at the demands their husbands were making of them IMMEDIATELY after their honeymoon. Demands were not all sexual, mind you…. mostly domestic support, like preparing meals, doing dishes, cleaning the house and making sure the bed is dressed every morning. And if she was a working lady, then you can imagine. I’m talking of regular requirements, nothing over bearing. These were things you could do at your pace when you were single; you could decide to skip a meal if you were too tired or just take a snack.
Same with guys. We mostly thought being married meant having a wife and for most of us, a wife meant someone to cook, clean and be at your beck and call. We didn’t realise early that a wife is also a dependant; she will need your help to get certain things done. And, boy, she OWNS you so you’re going to be accountable to her as regards your time, movement and your money. Although, good men are coping just fine, it can be a lot of work.
All I have mentioned so far does not factor in children when they start arriving. 😤
Before marriage, it’s no different. The tasks that keep you busy may be different, but it’s no less intense. Connecting with another person takes a lot of effort and more so is maintaining the connection. When you’re part of a team, more gets done but that means you actually work more, rather than less.
So please, if your only reason for wanting to get involved in a relationship is because you’re tired of being by yourself, think again. Let your reason be that you’re ready for that level of lifelong commitment because you believe the person you have chosen to be with is I.. totally worth it.