WHEN SHOULD I START DATING?
Common reason #6 “I need to settle some things first”
Although this particular reason tends to prevent people from engaging in romantic relationships, it’s still a common factor determining how people decide whether they should start dating or not.
It’s funny how, as Kenneth E. Hagin said, we always seem to go from one extreme to the other. It seems ever a problem for us to walk down the balanced middle of the road; instead it’s always from one ditch to the other.
See, some time back, it was common to have a young married couple in financial straits perhaps because they spent all their funds on the wedding, or because they didn’t have enough saved up to continue life after the honeymoon, or because there was no stable income earning job and on and on it goes. So, pastors, teachers, parents, marriage counsellors and anyone who had any insight at that time had to do what they could to ensure that intending couples had the resources to execute their weddings and continue thereafter.
The simplest way was to find out if they had jobs and/or a healthy business to show that they would be okay financially in the years ahead. And for some time, it worked as it was supposed to; the number of crying brides and frowning grooms, on account of the lack of money, reduced.
However, due to the same philosophy, the number of brides and grooms have reduced altogether … crying or not crying . We have gone to the opposite extreme again and now a lot of folks don’t want to even get involved with anyone until they have “settled some things first”. The statement’s usual implication is economic. They want to have a certain amount of money in the bank, dream accommodation, dream car or at least a good car and so on. Ladies wanting to be financially secure and independent want to land a GOOD job or fully establish their business.
All this isn’t too bad except that the acquisition of wealth and financial stability is never fully fulfilled and so it is an endless chase. At one time, having a million Naira in your account would be a good bench mark to start thinking of “settling down” but now it’s worth very little. Market forces, government policies, inflation and foreign exchange all act to shift the goal line and now, unless your net worth is in the hundreds of millions, you can’t think you’re okay. Fact is, even those in billions are still chasing. Besides, anything could happen to the stock market and millions would be lost in an instant.
On the other hand, some use these as the basis of “picking up” people. They brandish what they have and not who they are, hoping to use their possessions as the bait or hook or simply a factor that gives them a chance with the someone they are interested in. Sadly, this is quite effective a strategy nowadays because that’s all an increasing number of people want out of a relationship – the comforts of life.
Am I saying it’s wrong to have some good cash in the bank, have a nice house and car and other stuff before considering dating? No. But I am saying using these things as your guideline or allowing them to deter you is not the way to go. There are better, more valuable and reliable parameters by which to measure your readiness.
Were not done; there’s more to come. But in case you missed it, Part 7 of the series can be accessed here. http://wp.me/p6rlMY-bT