Understanding When and Whom to Date. PT 13

Welcome back. 

We’re still talking about maturity… what it means. We’ve mentioned that it includes but is not limited to growth in physical size, and includes development in mental capacity as well. But since we’re still talking about it, there must be something to add, right? 


Looking at our model of immaturity, our babies, you would notice that they rely on emotional manipulation to get what they need. Of course, this they do instinctively, not maliciously. 
It is the emotional connection they have with their parents that they rely on for their survival. Parents feel pity and concern for them because they are vulnerable, highly dependent and many times cute and cuddly. 
This implies that all they ever get is what their care givers have to offer on the other end of that emotional connection. 
However, as they grow up a little, if they find that their parents are holding out on them, what do they do? The exploit the emotional connection to get what they want, whether the parents can afford it or not. They would cry, and wail until they look so miserable that, out of pity, parents would buckle and give them what they want. 
Are you getting the picture? 
So, Point #1. If you find a person who would employ emotional manipulation, exploit the relationship they have with you to get whatever they want at any cost, even at your expense, that person is not mature. 
A mature person would reason with you, supplying facts and figures and try to convince you to help him or give him what he wants, appeal to you if he has to. Still, he would allow you make you make the choice to help or not. Of course, he would appreciate it and celebrate you for granting his wish but will not label you a bad person simply because you did not help him, especially if you presented your reasons not to.
A mature person knows that the relationship with you is more important than a favour not granted and realises that  the future holds multiple opportunities for other favours that are within your power to be granted. 
PS: I use the male pronouns, in this article as well as this series, as the universal representations of mankind and not a representation of the male gender alone unless clearly stated. 
We’re not done yet. 


2 thoughts on “Understanding When and Whom to Date. PT 13

    • We are all a work in progress but even a mature person can fall into childish behaviour once in a while. It’s called temptation and yielding to a lower nature. When that happens, you do what you do with other forms of misdeeds, draw the person’s attention to the error and let him choose to sort it out. But if once in a while has become the norm, that person is not mature yet… and that’s the point of this post.


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