Trust Issues

​Q: Sir, I am a young man who loved my girl friend passionately. I have suffered a lot of issues of mistrust from people. They have disappointed and betrayed me. Now I am very afraid of commitment…any thing that has to do with marriage I don’t want. I love but I don’t know whether I can ever marry. I want her in my life for ever without a commitment of marriage. We do stuff together. We also have Sex.

A: Brother, it is understandable that you have trust issues because you’ve been betrayed but, hey, Jesus was betrayed yet He still went to the cross for the very people who betrayed him, including you and I.

Who are you going to tell when you get to heaven that your sexual errors should be overlooked because you were hurt? Is it Jesus who was killed by those he loved, is it the father who gave his son to be killed knowing ahead that he would be killed or is it the Holy Spirit that God gave to a world that constantly rejects his counsel?

Now, you’ve been hurt and betrayed and you are hurting and you turn right around to do the same to another woman. Are you not betraying her by getting her committed to you when you have no plans to marry her or anyone for that matter. 

See, God our father has a profile and so does the devil. Look at this scripture and compare your current lifestyle with the profile of the thief and that of the good Shepherd. Who do you seem to resemble more closely right now.
Jn 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.

If you’re born again, you’re my brother and I love you and so does God. But what you’re doing right now is stealing from that girl and the man who would later marry her, you’re killing yourself and herself. Destiny is being thrown away, destroyed, in bits and pieces as you surrender to this selfishness. And you are also destroying the testimony of other Christians through sexual sin.

I urge you, by the mercies of God to repent now and seek grace to help you now before it is too late and your conscience gets seared and you don’t care anymore and land in hell against your better judgement.

I’m not condemning you to hell. No mam can do that. Only God can. However, a man can choose condemnation by his actions. If you allow sin linger, it will take control and you will deny Christ who died for you. 
For us, there is nothing like keeping someone in your life without the commitment of marriage. It’s simply not of God. The marriage between a man and a woman is a reflection of the union between Christ and the Church. 

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Is Christ in our hearts without a commitment to us? No. So neither can you. Stop this evil thing. Repent to God and get back on track. Stop living in fear of being betrayed. Fear is of the devil. It is a set up to make you mortgage God’s beauty and best for you for cheap gratification.

 This thing you’re doing with this girl is not love at all o. Both of you should awake to righteousness.

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Hey Doc!: Nipple Discharge

Q:

I HAVE BEEN HAVING LIQUID COMING OUT OF MY BREAST WHENEVER I PRESS IT AND IT IS PAINFUL. I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE  DOCTOR SAID IT IS EXCESS HORMONE FROM PITUARY GLAND, HE GAVE ME BROMOCROPTINE OR SO . AFTER USING IT, NO CHANGE. NOW I AM ON PARLODEL. PLEASE SIR, WHAT IS THE WAY OUT?

PS: I read online that it causes infertility….

A:

Part time of our problem in this generation is too much information. 

I am sure you read “the causes of this secretions from the breast have been associated with infertility in a percentage of women” but you came away with “it causes infertility”.

It is completely harmless in many many maaaaaany women and often stops after they have babies. 

And, my sister, if any woman presses her breast hard enough, there will be pain (especially for a woman who has never breastfed) and for some, there will be some secretions.

The reason the drugs are not controlling your complaints is probably because it is not what you think is causing the problem that’s causing it, probably.

Please, stop pressing your breast unnecessarily.   
See a gynaecologist rather than a generalist if you have the chance. And don’t go insisting that something is wrong with you. You may just get authoritative information from an expert if you’re open to him and allow him educate you. Drugs are not always the treatment. Sometimes, just sound advice is enough.

Sex Starved

Q: “Myself and my wife are both Christians. I enjoy sex and I love it but my wife doesn’t feel that way. She comes around only when it is time to make a baby and she is ready. After that she returns to her normal self. How can this be handled?”

A: This situation is actually quite common. 

Usually, it’s either because someone has a wrong impression of sex from many years of hearing about sexual sins and bad sex stories about guys and how they boast of it or it could be due to poor satisfaction with the sexual encounters. It could also be due to a lack of romance on your part. If her femininity is only celebrated when you want to have sex, she will detest sex with you. 

So, a good place to start is whether you treat her well during sex. If she enjoys sex with you, she would likely come back for more. 

Do you prepare her well? Do you engage her in foreplay or do you just grab her and go? Perhaps you didn’t do all these on your first sexual encounter on your wedding night and the memory lingers. She now has to wait for baby making time when her own body has primed itself to make sex more comfortable.

You might need to get sex help books to study and know what I mean so that the next time she comes to you on her own, by the time she notices some positive changes, she will come for more. Even those who have a wrong orientation of sex cannot resist sex when it is great within the blessed confines of marriage. Their defences will crumble and they will yield to this “temptation” again and again. 

If all is well on this front and she is still avoiding it, you might need to see your counsellor to help you guys. Don’t go accusing her and arraigning her before the judge but rather go as a couple in need of help with this core aspect of your marriage. My wife and I have had the privilege of helping a number of couples this way.
Q: What books are those?
A: Intended for pleasure by Ed Wheats,

The act of marriage by Tim LaHaye

The Successful Marriage by Creflo Dollar

There are others, I am sure.
Q: Is it possible to access e-copy of these books

A: Intended for pleasure I am sure. Others, I don’t know.

Q: But, my advise, if you’re not about to get married, don’t read those books ooo. Images you don’t need now will fill your head and distract you powerfully.
Q: Songs of Solomon is good too 🙈
A: Songs of Solomon portrays romance not actually sex.
Q: I thought they were intertwined?

A: Great romance prepares for but does not always lead to great sex or sex at all. Romance means to celebrate a person and the companionship of the person and this does not always involve sex. Songs of Solomon does not detail really what this question requires as an answer.

It is well with you.

Hey Doc!: Painful Nipples

Q:

I have this issue of vaginal discharge and my pharmacists has given me drugs and an inserter which I used but then I see this whitish discharge with odour seems like its the drugs coming out … I have explained to the pharmacists he said after my treatment today I shuld wait for four days  before coming to him if there is no change … although there is a reduction in the smell and discharge is there hope?? Or what should I do … cause I still somewhat feel pain on my nipples. 

A:

Pain in the nipples, apart from poor breastfeeding techniques, is common around ovulation. You can take charge of that as well by your faith.

However, it has nothing to do with vaginal discharge. Foul smelling vaginal discharge is a sign of certain kinds of infections. Please, see a doctor for your treatment, not a pharmacist. I know folks would think I’m doing professional beefing against pharmacists but that’s not what’s going on here. Even amongst doctors, there are specialists in women’s health so if you have the opportunity, see a gynaecologist rather than a generalist.

And your pharmacist or nurse, should know that they owe patients the duty of care to get them the best service available. 

None of us will meet a panel beater to fix the problems in the engines of our cars simply because the panel beater works in the same vicinity and as part of a team with a trained mechanic.

So, sister, see a doctor. There is plenty of hope. I met a sister who complained and complained of discharge for so long she and I were tired. She thought she wouldn’t enjoy sex, she got married and with some counselling from my wife, she did. She thought she wouldn’t get pregnant, she did. She thought she wouldn’t have a smooth delivery, but much to her surprise, she did. Now she is a happy mother to a beautiful girl. 

So relax, as long as you’re alive and Jesus is alive, all is well.

ISRAEL: SECOND REPUBLIC … PT 59

Lessons from the Book of Joshua

​Joshua 24: … the seed of Terah …

Since it was God speaking and He mentioned Terah, Abraham’s father, it confirms to me that God had dealings with Terah much like He had with his son. 

Genesis 11:31-32  And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son’s son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram’s wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt [settled] there.  And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran. 

I’ve had course to study the maps and it was clear that a journey towards Canaan beginning from Ur could very well pass through Haran. 

Genesis 15:7  And He said unto [Abraham], I [am] the LORD that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it. 

God said He brought Abraham out from Ur but it was from Haran, Abraham must have started. It would mean that the initial directive to move to a place unknown was given to Terah who came upon Haran and decided to settle there. However, God who always works all things to His plan was actually calling Abraham through his father but Abraham didn’t hear God until after his father died and left him in charge.

Terah settled for less than what he potentially had access to. Who knows, maybe we could have been referring to Terah as the father of faith, the temporary holding place for the souls of dead saints before the cross of Christ would have been called the Bossom of Terah rather than the Bossom of Abraham and we would have been called the seed of Terah.

Anyway, it’s quite clear that God will accomplish what He set out to do. He invites us to partner with Him but should we drop the ball, His plan will not be stopped, He’ll simply call another to take our place.

1Kings 19:14-19  And Elijah said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, [even] I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.  And the LORD said unto him … yet I have left [me] seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.  So he departed thence, and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who [was] plowing [with] twelve yoke [of oxen] before him, and he with the twelfth: and Elijah passed by him, and cast his mantle upon him. 

1Samuel 13:13-14  And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him [to be] captain over his people, because thou hast not kept [that] which the LORD commanded thee. 

1Samuel 15:26-29  And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.  And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent.  And Samuel said unto him, The LORD hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, [that is] better than thou. 

1Sa 15:29  And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he [is] not a man, that he should repent. 

My prayer, for myself and for you, is that God will not have a reason to replace us in His glorious eternal plan. 

Do not settle; I know I won’t.

Revelations of the Heart

Q: 

My question is as a brother who is sure about what God told you about a sister as your life partner but she decided to reject based on personal reasons, which isn’t that convincing enough to let go, but you decided to leave her to her decision. Am I as a brother supposed to still dwell on the same revelation from God for another sister or what is to be done?

A: 

Revelation does not guarantee cooperation. 

As long as another person’s will is involved, it’s not automatic. The fact that God says something doesn’t mean it will come to pass, people have to agree with him. Classic example are the Israelites. God freed them from Egypt to inherit Canaan but they died in the wilderness. It was their children who later cooperated with God and entered in.

Same thing with the salvation message. So many before us have disbelieved the Gospel but we have believed and have been saved because the preaching of the Gospel didn’t cease.

In the same way, sir, if you preach the Gospel of your love by revelation to a sister and she disbelieves, go back to God to tell you what next to do which might involve pointing you to another person. 

If you throw away divine direction because you hit a rough road, you will wreck badly. God is still your best counsel.

Hey Doc!: Menstrual Pains

Q: 

Sir, what is the cause of menstrual cramp?

Overtime, I do have very painful period despite my reduction of sugar intake,  so I take drugs to subside the pain. But I was told taking drugs to ease the pain could have future complications. What can I do about it?

Lastly, sometimes I do see what I will term abnormally huge blood clot, should I be concerned sir?

A:

Good question.

Painful menstruation, also called dysmenorrhea, is an entity long studied but not fully understood as to why it occurs in some and not in others. 

It can be caused by some well known pathologies though but for most people, the cause is unknown. So you might choose to see a doctor to identify which applies to you.

Contrary to many myths around it, there is nothing beyond it that should bother you apart from the pain. It does not affect fertility and is not caused by high sugar intake. The sugar gist is just native doctor medicine online.

Taking pain killers to control the pain does not do anything to your reproductive system, please. Of course all drugs have side effects but taking pain killers will not stop you from enjoying sex (with your husband) nor will it complicate delivery later.

The blood clot, the abnormally large blood clot you see is no big deal. The menstrual flow is not a calibrated or regulated process and is thus not consistent. If your body secreted more endometrium building hormones this cycle than the last one, you will have more endometrium (which you call blood) to shed this month. It should only become a bother if you consistently shed large amounts for more than 7 days and/or you always get very dizzy during menstruation, enough to require hospitalization for IV fluids or blood transfusion. 

If that’s not the case, just change your sanitary pad regularly and have your fun.

Finally, as believers, you have the right to banish painful menstruation from your life for ever so that all you’ll need do is get a fresh pack of pads and your high heeled shoes to catwalk on the devil’s head.

I’ve prayed with a number of ladies and they were freed, testimonies abound amongst believers from all over the world in his regard.

If you want to be free from it, in Jesus’ name, I set you free today.

Come back with your testimony.