Q: Sir, I am a young man who loved my girl friend passionately. I have suffered a lot of issues of mistrust from people. They have disappointed and betrayed me. Now I am very afraid of commitment…any thing that has to do with marriage I don’t want. I love but I don’t know whether I can ever marry. I want her in my life for ever without a commitment of marriage. We do stuff together. We also have Sex.
A: Brother, it is understandable that you have trust issues because you’ve been betrayed but, hey, Jesus was betrayed yet He still went to the cross for the very people who betrayed him, including you and I.
Who are you going to tell when you get to heaven that your sexual errors should be overlooked because you were hurt? Is it Jesus who was killed by those he loved, is it the father who gave his son to be killed knowing ahead that he would be killed or is it the Holy Spirit that God gave to a world that constantly rejects his counsel?
Now, you’ve been hurt and betrayed and you are hurting and you turn right around to do the same to another woman. Are you not betraying her by getting her committed to you when you have no plans to marry her or anyone for that matter.
See, God our father has a profile and so does the devil. Look at this scripture and compare your current lifestyle with the profile of the thief and that of the good Shepherd. Who do you seem to resemble more closely right now.
Jn 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.
If you’re born again, you’re my brother and I love you and so does God. But what you’re doing right now is stealing from that girl and the man who would later marry her, you’re killing yourself and herself. Destiny is being thrown away, destroyed, in bits and pieces as you surrender to this selfishness. And you are also destroying the testimony of other Christians through sexual sin.
I urge you, by the mercies of God to repent now and seek grace to help you now before it is too late and your conscience gets seared and you don’t care anymore and land in hell against your better judgement.
I’m not condemning you to hell. No mam can do that. Only God can. However, a man can choose condemnation by his actions. If you allow sin linger, it will take control and you will deny Christ who died for you.
For us, there is nothing like keeping someone in your life without the commitment of marriage. It’s simply not of God. The marriage between a man and a woman is a reflection of the union between Christ and the Church.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Is Christ in our hearts without a commitment to us? No. So neither can you. Stop this evil thing. Repent to God and get back on track. Stop living in fear of being betrayed. Fear is of the devil. It is a set up to make you mortgage God’s beauty and best for you for cheap gratification.
This thing you’re doing with this girl is not love at all o. Both of you should awake to righteousness.