Everyone’s not doing it!


What will you do if you have a guy that always demands for sex and the girl is not in support but he feels like that’s how every relationship works nowadays in order to keep the love strong?

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Thank you for your question.

First of all, there are so many things we believe that are not true. For example, it is absolutely incorrect to say that every relationship works this way nowadays. While some might manage to make it to marriage with premarital sex in their relationship, it is not correct to assume that every relationship you see nowadays involves premarital sex. It is simply incorrect because there are hundreds and thousands of dating couples who have vowed, and kept to their vow of avoiding premarital sex.

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Then you have to consider the implications of premarital sex on the marriage that you are trying to create. Even if you manage to make it to the wedding platform, the implications of premarital sex on your marriage have not ended; there will always be a basis for distrust because you have seen each other walk in a steady lack of self-control. You knew it wasn’t right to do it but because you followed how “everybody else” does it, you engaged in it. In the future when, you realize that “everybody else” has extramarital affairs, even if you don’t engage in such, your spouse could think any man he sees you with is a potential risk to the fidelity required in your marriage … and vice versa. There’s a lot at stake as regards giving in to the pressures for sex outside marriage.


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Contrary to what you are being told premarital sex doesn’t make the love stronger. It makes sexual desires stronger, it makes lust stronger and a time will come when the desires will be so strong that sex in the relationship itself may not be enough you anymore. Understand this, the fact that married people still engage in extramarital sexual relationships means that even with the free access to as much sex as they want with their partners, marriage is not enough to hold down sexual urges. You have to add contentment and self-control to it in order to preserve the sanctity of marriage. Married people still get tempted sexually. What keeps them from falling for it is their commitment to their spouse.

Love is a choice and you cannot make it stronger by doing what is wrong, you only strengthen it by doing the right thing and, before marriage, doing the right thing includes being faithful to each other enough to resist temptation of damaging each other for life.

Proverbs 6:27 – 28 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?

Galatians 6:7 – 8  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Do not be deceived.


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