The downward callingΒ 

Hello, friends.I had this discussion with a precious friend a while back. With her permission, I decided to share it here so others could pick a few things. 

As usual, any information that could identify her or her circumstances have been altered.

Do enjoy.

​Letty: Good evening PD sir! Please, do we have any our church people that’s a caterer in Abuja?

PD: Caterer? None that I know of. You’re considering Abuja?

Letty: PD. Lemme tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truthπŸ™ŒπŸ½

Hmmmmmm…….. Recently, I ve been battling with the idea of leaving Ibadan. I honestly would love to stay here for many reasons I really can’t mention … But my hubby is here becauseI don’t wanna leave.

Plenty atimes I feel selfish.

But its a pressing burden, I initially didn’t pray about it because there was no need (in my heart), but when I chose to, it wasn’t as troubling as I thought.

My hubby doesn’t like teaching, he has ALWAYS wanted to leave. Wanted to do a Masters so he could be a lecturer just before the wedding. I even threatened to leave him back then πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ.

Looking back, I have been very selfishπŸ™ˆ

I’m determined to let him have his way this time. If I no like am, I carry my load come backπŸ˜€.

While I’m thinking about leaving, I’m trying to find a place that I would best fit in. Abuja? Lagos?

Port Harcourt? AnywhereπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Let Oga have his way this timeπŸ˜‚

 His people would be my people afterallπŸ˜›πŸ˜πŸ˜œ

PD: And you’ve been married for how long?

Letty: 😬😬😬😬😬

7yrs by Dec 15th.

PD: And it took you this long to discover you were being selfish.

Letty: PD naaaa………….

PD: I’m not trying to nail you.

Letty: I have repented naaaa……….


πŸ˜›πŸ˜πŸ˜œ … All the bad things I used to do, I do them no more.

PD: Yeah, it’s never too late to turn around.

Did your husband ever accuse you of being selfish at any point?

Letty: Never.

I love Ibadan. All my siblings know. Everyone knows.

PD: Fine, but were you called to love Ibadan or to love your husband?

Letty: Now, that made me laughπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚  

I was called to love my husbandπŸ™ŒπŸ½

PD: I may seem to be doing post mortem counselling but I want you to think of this well… If your roles had been reversed, would you have pointed out how selfish he was?

Nepa don take light…. πŸ˜’

Letty: No, was searching my heart.

PD: Not you, Nepa actually took light here.

Letty: Kk

I don’t think I would have told him that (not in those exact words) Even if i definitely would have ruminated over itπŸ€”πŸ€”

PD: Hmmmm… I suspect that you would have found a way to solve that problem.

Letty: True, I would have found a way.

PD: My point is, if it took you seven years to realise how selfish you’ve been and repented, then it has taken you the same time to realise how selfless your husband has been and you should thank him. 

Not trying to knock you, really.

Letty: Sometimes, we do.

Especially Letty. I need to be knocked @timesπŸ˜€

PD: Well, I don’t know if I’m tall enough or have a hammer big enough to make a mark on your hard head but… Well… there is God.

Letty: It doesn’t have to be physical sometimes.

Funny enough I had declare a Solomon 2:3 week starting today.

I most definitely would thank him for being selfless.

PD: Good.

Letty: To think he had encouraged me to pass my catering school exams, through part 1, proposals for part 2 and just sat there watching me excelπŸ˜“πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜₯😒.


You should have seen his joy when I told him I was ready to give leaving Ibadan a try 😊

PD: When we talk in church at times and we knock men, these are the things I consider and try to to draw our attention away from our determination to make guys look like… well, bad guys… for expecting submission from their wives.

I have noticed that, nowadays, any man with a good head ends up living life the way his wife wants it lived and not the other way around like it seems it used to be.

Letty: You’re at the risk of being misunderstood. What meaneth thou? 

Oh, ok, I get you. 

Shouldn’t it be like the days of old? πŸ™ˆ

PD: Depends on how old the days you’re referring to are.

It used to be, Mr Man, you’re the head and that used to be a good thing but now it seems like it’s bad to think like that cos we immediately think of all the million things that could go wrong… meaning, not done the wife’s way because hubby is a power drunk tyrant.

Letty: I have considered myself as “submissive” I could be wrong though. Could just be reasoning this submission matter with my own understanding. 

But would not wanting to leave Ibadan, even if he knew this from day one, be regarded as “unsubmissive”?

PD: You knew he wanted to leave, and you dug your feet in the rocks and said “I shall not be moved”… Do you think you submitted?

Letty: I still believe in a man being the head, and using veto power when needed sha.

Except I’m wrong, or, I’m not doing it the way God wants.

But He knew this before we married naaa.

PD: Please, we’re just bouncing thoughts o, I’m not trying to knock you o.

Letty: Even if you were; I will forgive you.

I knew he wanted to leave, he knew I didn’t want, I opted out of the relationship if he wouldn’t be in Ibadan. 

I honestly didn’t think I was doing something wrong. @that time sha

PD: OK. I guess he chose staying with you over chasing his dreams. Men, no be today we start. You know it’s the same thing Adam did, right? If he had done what was expected, he wouldn’t have eaten the fruit and Eve would have died alone.

Anyway, here is what I think it should look like: God sets direction for man to follow and woman ensures he stays on course. That way, she gets to arrive at where God meant for her as well.

Letty: Lol, so, what are you stylishly telling me?

PD: That he loved you.

Letty: Hmmmm……

I have always known that.

The way you are saying it now, its like, I never understood how see his love was/isπŸ™Š

PD: Yeah, ladies don’t really get how much they are loved because no matter how hard a guy tries, he can’t package his emotions into words like a woman can.

Letty: Certainly can’t. πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”

PD, you are so wise!

I should call you “the wise one”.

PD: 1Tim 1:17 Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, *the only wise God*, [be] honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Letty: How come it took me this long to realise my hubby had been selfless?

And I am busy looking for the city that best suites me, when the guy eye dey Abuja since … plus he knows exactly what he wants.

PD: Now, here is what I want you to practice doing from now on. When your husband proposes a move, give him your support verbally and with all body language. Let him know you support him, but then, find out if he prayed about it. Let him know you want to pray about it for God to give both of you clear directions on what to do.

Letty: πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

Ama do just that.

PD: I hail the future of your marriage.

Letty: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Guess I understand submission better.

PD: If that is what you got out of this chat, God don win.

Letty: Yes, He wins again.

PD: Have a good night, my sister.

Letty: Kk.

Permit me to share our conversation in a Christian women forum.

I think I have to make the women know I have erred, and set a kinda example.

They kinda think I’m a perfect woman. That ain’t too good you know.

PD: Well, I have often said that being a leader is not just about showing what to do but also showing how to do it and that includes how to repent and get back up.

Letty: My leader sir!

Once again, you have spoken correctly.

PD: I was going to ask much later for your permission to blog it, of course adjusting elements that reveal your identity while maintaining the gist.

Letty: Permission granted. Aa long as you send me the link.

Wanna read the story too😊

PD: I always do.

PD: Ehn? When did I become your leader?

Letty: Once a leader, always a leader. Accept the assurance of my highest regard.

PD: Choi! Na my head you dey break all this oyinbo?
Letty: Lol. Your girl is loyal.

PD: Abeg o, Sista, sleep is catching my eyes … Only my eyes o.

Letty: Goodnyt sir

PD: Good night ma
Some days later…

Letty: Good morning.

PD: Wellllll … So how did your Songs of Solomon week go?

Letty: 😊 good. Thanks for asking.

We also went to the cinema twice this week.

PD: You took him out to the movies?

Letty: 😁

PD: Well, that’s not something you see every day, is it?

Letty: 😁

​Father’s Day: The Father Won’t Let Go.

Father’s Day: The Father Won’t Let Go

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.  In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out of the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.  He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.  Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a u-turn to swim to his father.
It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. An incredible tug-of-war between the two began. The alligator was much stronger than the father but the father was much too passionate to let go, and dug his nails into the little boy’s arms.
A farmer driving by heard the screams of the child, and after retrieving a rifle from his truck, raced to the water’s edge and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks in the hospital, the little boy recovered.
The local newspaper reporter interviewing the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars.  The little boy lifted his pant legs and said, “These are the scars from where the alligator tried to pull me under the water.”  Then, he rolled up his shirt sleeves and said, “Now look at my arms.  These are the scars where my father wouldn’t let me go.”
Each of us is marked.  Yes, there are scars we bear in our lives because of poor choices we have made.  But if we look closely, there are other marks we have incurred, where a loving sovereign God has refused to let us go.  At the time, His grip of grace may seem painful, but it is all for our protection, so that we may be preserved to live, and testify of His tender mercies that He reveals to us with each new day.

John 10:28  “. . . neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”

I came across this story and decided to share it because it blessed me.


Fathers in Heaven and on Earth

I went to visit a friend, Foluke Ajanaku Udeh, very many years ago when school was out. I saw a small framed statement in the living room and it stayed with me since then, 

“A father is someone you can look up to, no matter how tall you grow.”

My Dad fulfilled these words till he left to be with our heavenly father. I remember him fondly and with deep respect.

Happy father’s day to all fathers past, present and future and to the women who love them.

Vitamin Mom

I hear it’s Mother’s day today. I think there are more than one per year, not sure.

I remember my Mom. She’s with the Lord now. I am a man now but I cannot imagine what I would have become without her diligence, sacrifice, and faith in God as well as in me. 

I struggled at some point in my life … a statement she made as she blessed me then gave me a boost, “Whether you’re a doctor or not, God will use you”.
Once in a while, I still struggle but those words always … always … always come rushing back into my heart.
I thank God for my Mom. I bless the memory of my Mom.
Can you remember a point in your life where your Mom gave you that boost that still encourages you today?