The Man with the Broken Finger

Q: 

I am having little  problem with my wife. I don’t complain on whatever she does or eats at home but to my side, she always complain on my activities at home. Even when I want to eat any food, she talk to me anyhow.

If my wife is not appreciating and not satisfied with what I am doing at home, what will I do?

A: Brother, you have been jailed o. You probably committed a small offence and you didn’t sort it out in time and now it has coloured everything you do. 

Mt 5:25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Mt 5:26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

Usually, when everything is wrong between two persons, it’s just one thing that actually is wrong but has tinted everything else in bad light.

There was a story of a man who went to a hospital and saw a doctor. His complaint was every part of his body was paining him. He felt pain when he touched any part of his body. After the doctor examined him, it turned out he had a broken right index finger. That was the finger he was using to touch his body and he always felt pain when he used the finger to touch his body.

The cure is to be the doctor now, and find what you have broken in your wife and fix it. There is almost nothing more annoying than a generic “I’m sorry”. It’s a lazy cop out and accomplishes nothing except make her angrier. So, identify what you did wrong by sitting with her and talking and when you do, apologise.

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The Man with the Broken Ego

Q: Sir, I work but my job salary is not so good. My wife gets a good pay and has been very supportive in the house and also with the Children. I feel bad sometimes, because I feel I am not doing what I ought to do, as a man for her and the Children. She has never mentioned it. But it disturbs me a lot … sometimes when i think about it. It affects my mood which also affects our relationship. I start acting funny picking on her every action … sometimes it’s bad.

A: Brother, repent o.

You prayed for a helper, God heard your prayer you are now maltreating her for stuff that’s no fault of hers. 

What you’re going through is not exclusive to you. Other men have gone through it and have learnt to manage it well.

I would have given some other counsel but in your scenario, you are likely going to abuse it and make that precious sister miserable. 

Meanwhile, She is your wife, an extension of you. She completes you so whatever she is becoming and is doing is for you. You should celebrate her for remaining submitted to you. Other women have put pepper in their husband’s eyes just because they earn more.

Your calling as a man includes protecting and providing as well as leading. It doesn’t mean you must earn the most. Just do your best. Submit yourself to God, in due time, he will lift you up in whatever way he deems necessary.

Hey Doc!: Biological Clock

Q: With respect to the unmarried ladies who have advanced in age (30-45years). How do they get assured biologically that reproduction will not be an issue when they get married?

A: Hallelujah ooo

We have come to accept science as the basis for our every day lives. Nothing wrong with science but you have to know science is not an authority on anything whatsoever.

I’m sure you have read science books and you encountered the expressions “Why this happens is not yet fully understood”. You also see others such as ” highly suggestive of”, “not likely”, “unlikely”, ” some, many, most” and on reputable sites, you see information represented in percentages which is never up to 100%.

All this points to two things, science is a highly valued opinion based on statistical analysis of data obtained by observation. Simply put, science is observation.

2. Most of us did science experiments in school and we were feeling cool that we were scientists. Even if all you did was plant beans, like my sons, and watch it grow, you called yourself a scientist. But you didn’t create the beans nor the soil nor the water and there was nothing you could do to make the beans germinate sooner. 

That’s the second point, science is not responsible for creating anything, except more questions requiring more observations.

Put these two together, what you get is that, science observes the work of another person, namely God, and tries to explain how and why they happen the way they do but can’t change anything. 

All we do in science is establish a normal distribution curve and say what is likely to happen in 66.7% of the population, what is less likely to happen in the next 27% and what is remotely possible in the remaining 3%.

If we asked the person responsible for what science is trying to comprehend, He will tell you all things are possible.

Please, do not relegate the contents of the Bible to mere stories for bed time. Sarah, your mother; Elizabeth, even Mary all had children outside the normal distribution curve. 

Set your affections on God, He will give you the desires of your heart.

Testimonies abound. One sister shared a testimony of two aunts who had their first babies after age 50. Another shared of her sister recently who had her first baby after menopause. There is another of a 60 or 70 year old woman who dedicated her fist baby, in Living Faith Church in Kogi State. She had never ever been pregnant, so we’re not talking about miscarriages o … never been pregnant. Suddenly she started to feel somehow, and with her husband, went to see her doctor and she was found with twins. 

Time will not allow me to share the testimony of when I should have died of a heart attack, science failed, God prevailed after I was told my chances of survival were “highly unlikely”. Being a doctor myself, I would have said that to any patient with similar clinical findings and laboratory findings, based on the science at hand, with high degree of confidence of my diagnosis.

Some know the story, I have shared it severally.

Jonah 2:8 They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

Do not forsake your own mercy under the hand of God by following the dictates of the postulates of man called science.

You hear?

Sex Starved

Q: “Myself and my wife are both Christians. I enjoy sex and I love it but my wife doesn’t feel that way. She comes around only when it is time to make a baby and she is ready. After that she returns to her normal self. How can this be handled?”

A: This situation is actually quite common. 

Usually, it’s either because someone has a wrong impression of sex from many years of hearing about sexual sins and bad sex stories about guys and how they boast of it or it could be due to poor satisfaction with the sexual encounters. It could also be due to a lack of romance on your part. If her femininity is only celebrated when you want to have sex, she will detest sex with you. 

So, a good place to start is whether you treat her well during sex. If she enjoys sex with you, she would likely come back for more. 

Do you prepare her well? Do you engage her in foreplay or do you just grab her and go? Perhaps you didn’t do all these on your first sexual encounter on your wedding night and the memory lingers. She now has to wait for baby making time when her own body has primed itself to make sex more comfortable.

You might need to get sex help books to study and know what I mean so that the next time she comes to you on her own, by the time she notices some positive changes, she will come for more. Even those who have a wrong orientation of sex cannot resist sex when it is great within the blessed confines of marriage. Their defences will crumble and they will yield to this “temptation” again and again. 

If all is well on this front and she is still avoiding it, you might need to see your counsellor to help you guys. Don’t go accusing her and arraigning her before the judge but rather go as a couple in need of help with this core aspect of your marriage. My wife and I have had the privilege of helping a number of couples this way.
Q: What books are those?
A: Intended for pleasure by Ed Wheats,

The act of marriage by Tim LaHaye

The Successful Marriage by Creflo Dollar

There are others, I am sure.
Q: Is it possible to access e-copy of these books

A: Intended for pleasure I am sure. Others, I don’t know.

Q: But, my advise, if you’re not about to get married, don’t read those books ooo. Images you don’t need now will fill your head and distract you powerfully.
Q: Songs of Solomon is good too 🙈
A: Songs of Solomon portrays romance not actually sex.
Q: I thought they were intertwined?

A: Great romance prepares for but does not always lead to great sex or sex at all. Romance means to celebrate a person and the companionship of the person and this does not always involve sex. Songs of Solomon does not detail really what this question requires as an answer.

It is well with you.

Not my type?

​Q: Good day sir, is it advisable as a guy to get married to a lady whose family insists she should not marry me because I am SS? Although she is AA. I am 10 years older than she is.

A: The issue here is not the age difference, unless they are just masquerading under the genotype matter.

There is nothing wrong with both of you getting married although the thought that all your kids, scientifically speaking, would be expected to be AS which means they might have some difficulty when it’s their time to pick a spouse. Avoiding another AS might become a burden at that time. This might be the concern of her guardians. It could also be that they are trying to avoid a traumatic life for their ward, expecting that an SS husband would be a burden … always being rushed to the hospital and all that.

Well, in this case, you either pray for a turn around or you walk away. But there really is nothing wrong in you getting married. By the way, there are couples who by faith overcame the boundaries of science. I heard of a couple that was SS and AS but all their kids were AA.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO BELIEVES.

Q & A with Dr Linda … 4

In response to Q & A with Dr Linda … 1 [ see https://pdlionunlimited.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/q-a-with-dr-linda-1/ ], lsomeone asked a question.
Q: What if the pay is reasonably high, do you still advise she leaves her job for her husband’s domicile state?

In the case where the woman earns more than the man and where the family depends a lot on the woman’s salary,it will be better for the man to move . He can look for a job where she is in order to keep the family together. 

The focus should always be to keep the family together. 

If two people working in a bank fall in love and get married and the bank’s policy is that one must quit,who should quit?

The answer will always  depend on the focus.

If self preservation, personal security, job and career are the focus, there will be trouble however, if family is the focus, the answer will become easy. Who will step down will not matter or be a big deal. One can step down and make money for the other to start a business after all, the bible says we should prefer one another.

I know of a couple this happened to, the wife stepped down and got something less stressful than a bank job and all went well.

The biggest problem we Christians have in our marriages is not finances including separate accounts or same account, sex, in-laws, having children, infidelity and so on. It is simply because we have forgotten how to be Christians.

Like I said earlier, if infidelity comes in, the money earned will lose value.

Q & A with Dr Linda … 3

Q

I have always desired a very good relationship with my in laws….anytime they come visiting, my home will not be comfortable for me. My husband has really been trying to make them Understand. I am yet to have a child but I am trusting God. I am also very worried when talks of going to visit his family comes up. I am really trying to be a very God daughter to them but all my efforts seem to go down the drain.

A:  

I don’t really know what they do to you but I will advise that you should try to be patient.  Many Nigerian families (not all ) see son or daughter in laws as intruders. It is made worse when a child is yet to arrive.

Bear with them, trust God for a baby, try to make your visits short but never prevent them from coming and do not stop going to them.