The Man with the Broken Finger

Q: 

I am having little  problem with my wife. I don’t complain on whatever she does or eats at home but to my side, she always complain on my activities at home. Even when I want to eat any food, she talk to me anyhow.

If my wife is not appreciating and not satisfied with what I am doing at home, what will I do?

A: Brother, you have been jailed o. You probably committed a small offence and you didn’t sort it out in time and now it has coloured everything you do. 

Mt 5:25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Mt 5:26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

Usually, when everything is wrong between two persons, it’s just one thing that actually is wrong but has tinted everything else in bad light.

There was a story of a man who went to a hospital and saw a doctor. His complaint was every part of his body was paining him. He felt pain when he touched any part of his body. After the doctor examined him, it turned out he had a broken right index finger. That was the finger he was using to touch his body and he always felt pain when he used the finger to touch his body.

The cure is to be the doctor now, and find what you have broken in your wife and fix it. There is almost nothing more annoying than a generic “I’m sorry”. It’s a lazy cop out and accomplishes nothing except make her angrier. So, identify what you did wrong by sitting with her and talking and when you do, apologise.

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Odourant

Q: Please I would love to know what can be the cause of a woman vagina smelling and how can someone stop it?

A: Generally, poor hygiene is the culprit. But there are also some inapparent infections which can easily be treated. 

Question though, who told you your vagina is smelling. I’ve heard this before from men who are avoiding their wives sexually. And in most cases, it’s just rubbish.

But if your vaginal secretions are smelly even to you, then it’s infected. Get treated.

Do not do any of these online native doctor things like inserting something or spraying something inside your vagina. Most likely, you will worsen the condition. 

Wear good body spray and perfumes, shower more frequently, better yet before hubby gets home and just before bed which is when sex is most likely.

The Man with the Broken Ego

Q: Sir, I work but my job salary is not so good. My wife gets a good pay and has been very supportive in the house and also with the Children. I feel bad sometimes, because I feel I am not doing what I ought to do, as a man for her and the Children. She has never mentioned it. But it disturbs me a lot … sometimes when i think about it. It affects my mood which also affects our relationship. I start acting funny picking on her every action … sometimes it’s bad.

A: Brother, repent o.

You prayed for a helper, God heard your prayer you are now maltreating her for stuff that’s no fault of hers. 

What you’re going through is not exclusive to you. Other men have gone through it and have learnt to manage it well.

I would have given some other counsel but in your scenario, you are likely going to abuse it and make that precious sister miserable. 

Meanwhile, She is your wife, an extension of you. She completes you so whatever she is becoming and is doing is for you. You should celebrate her for remaining submitted to you. Other women have put pepper in their husband’s eyes just because they earn more.

Your calling as a man includes protecting and providing as well as leading. It doesn’t mean you must earn the most. Just do your best. Submit yourself to God, in due time, he will lift you up in whatever way he deems necessary.

Hey Doc!: Biological Clock

Q: With respect to the unmarried ladies who have advanced in age (30-45years). How do they get assured biologically that reproduction will not be an issue when they get married?

A: Hallelujah ooo

We have come to accept science as the basis for our every day lives. Nothing wrong with science but you have to know science is not an authority on anything whatsoever.

I’m sure you have read science books and you encountered the expressions “Why this happens is not yet fully understood”. You also see others such as ” highly suggestive of”, “not likely”, “unlikely”, ” some, many, most” and on reputable sites, you see information represented in percentages which is never up to 100%.

All this points to two things, science is a highly valued opinion based on statistical analysis of data obtained by observation. Simply put, science is observation.

2. Most of us did science experiments in school and we were feeling cool that we were scientists. Even if all you did was plant beans, like my sons, and watch it grow, you called yourself a scientist. But you didn’t create the beans nor the soil nor the water and there was nothing you could do to make the beans germinate sooner. 

That’s the second point, science is not responsible for creating anything, except more questions requiring more observations.

Put these two together, what you get is that, science observes the work of another person, namely God, and tries to explain how and why they happen the way they do but can’t change anything. 

All we do in science is establish a normal distribution curve and say what is likely to happen in 66.7% of the population, what is less likely to happen in the next 27% and what is remotely possible in the remaining 3%.

If we asked the person responsible for what science is trying to comprehend, He will tell you all things are possible.

Please, do not relegate the contents of the Bible to mere stories for bed time. Sarah, your mother; Elizabeth, even Mary all had children outside the normal distribution curve. 

Set your affections on God, He will give you the desires of your heart.

Testimonies abound. One sister shared a testimony of two aunts who had their first babies after age 50. Another shared of her sister recently who had her first baby after menopause. There is another of a 60 or 70 year old woman who dedicated her fist baby, in Living Faith Church in Kogi State. She had never ever been pregnant, so we’re not talking about miscarriages o … never been pregnant. Suddenly she started to feel somehow, and with her husband, went to see her doctor and she was found with twins. 

Time will not allow me to share the testimony of when I should have died of a heart attack, science failed, God prevailed after I was told my chances of survival were “highly unlikely”. Being a doctor myself, I would have said that to any patient with similar clinical findings and laboratory findings, based on the science at hand, with high degree of confidence of my diagnosis.

Some know the story, I have shared it severally.

Jonah 2:8 They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.

Do not forsake your own mercy under the hand of God by following the dictates of the postulates of man called science.

You hear?

Trust Issues

​Q: Sir, I am a young man who loved my girl friend passionately. I have suffered a lot of issues of mistrust from people. They have disappointed and betrayed me. Now I am very afraid of commitment…any thing that has to do with marriage I don’t want. I love but I don’t know whether I can ever marry. I want her in my life for ever without a commitment of marriage. We do stuff together. We also have Sex.

A: Brother, it is understandable that you have trust issues because you’ve been betrayed but, hey, Jesus was betrayed yet He still went to the cross for the very people who betrayed him, including you and I.

Who are you going to tell when you get to heaven that your sexual errors should be overlooked because you were hurt? Is it Jesus who was killed by those he loved, is it the father who gave his son to be killed knowing ahead that he would be killed or is it the Holy Spirit that God gave to a world that constantly rejects his counsel?

Now, you’ve been hurt and betrayed and you are hurting and you turn right around to do the same to another woman. Are you not betraying her by getting her committed to you when you have no plans to marry her or anyone for that matter. 

See, God our father has a profile and so does the devil. Look at this scripture and compare your current lifestyle with the profile of the thief and that of the good Shepherd. Who do you seem to resemble more closely right now.
Jn 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.

If you’re born again, you’re my brother and I love you and so does God. But what you’re doing right now is stealing from that girl and the man who would later marry her, you’re killing yourself and herself. Destiny is being thrown away, destroyed, in bits and pieces as you surrender to this selfishness. And you are also destroying the testimony of other Christians through sexual sin.

I urge you, by the mercies of God to repent now and seek grace to help you now before it is too late and your conscience gets seared and you don’t care anymore and land in hell against your better judgement.

I’m not condemning you to hell. No mam can do that. Only God can. However, a man can choose condemnation by his actions. If you allow sin linger, it will take control and you will deny Christ who died for you. 
For us, there is nothing like keeping someone in your life without the commitment of marriage. It’s simply not of God. The marriage between a man and a woman is a reflection of the union between Christ and the Church. 

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Is Christ in our hearts without a commitment to us? No. So neither can you. Stop this evil thing. Repent to God and get back on track. Stop living in fear of being betrayed. Fear is of the devil. It is a set up to make you mortgage God’s beauty and best for you for cheap gratification.

 This thing you’re doing with this girl is not love at all o. Both of you should awake to righteousness.

Hey Doc!: Nipple Discharge

Q:

I HAVE BEEN HAVING LIQUID COMING OUT OF MY BREAST WHENEVER I PRESS IT AND IT IS PAINFUL. I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE  DOCTOR SAID IT IS EXCESS HORMONE FROM PITUARY GLAND, HE GAVE ME BROMOCROPTINE OR SO . AFTER USING IT, NO CHANGE. NOW I AM ON PARLODEL. PLEASE SIR, WHAT IS THE WAY OUT?

PS: I read online that it causes infertility….

A:

Part time of our problem in this generation is too much information. 

I am sure you read “the causes of this secretions from the breast have been associated with infertility in a percentage of women” but you came away with “it causes infertility”.

It is completely harmless in many many maaaaaany women and often stops after they have babies. 

And, my sister, if any woman presses her breast hard enough, there will be pain (especially for a woman who has never breastfed) and for some, there will be some secretions.

The reason the drugs are not controlling your complaints is probably because it is not what you think is causing the problem that’s causing it, probably.

Please, stop pressing your breast unnecessarily.   
See a gynaecologist rather than a generalist if you have the chance. And don’t go insisting that something is wrong with you. You may just get authoritative information from an expert if you’re open to him and allow him educate you. Drugs are not always the treatment. Sometimes, just sound advice is enough.

Sex Starved

Q: “Myself and my wife are both Christians. I enjoy sex and I love it but my wife doesn’t feel that way. She comes around only when it is time to make a baby and she is ready. After that she returns to her normal self. How can this be handled?”

A: This situation is actually quite common. 

Usually, it’s either because someone has a wrong impression of sex from many years of hearing about sexual sins and bad sex stories about guys and how they boast of it or it could be due to poor satisfaction with the sexual encounters. It could also be due to a lack of romance on your part. If her femininity is only celebrated when you want to have sex, she will detest sex with you. 

So, a good place to start is whether you treat her well during sex. If she enjoys sex with you, she would likely come back for more. 

Do you prepare her well? Do you engage her in foreplay or do you just grab her and go? Perhaps you didn’t do all these on your first sexual encounter on your wedding night and the memory lingers. She now has to wait for baby making time when her own body has primed itself to make sex more comfortable.

You might need to get sex help books to study and know what I mean so that the next time she comes to you on her own, by the time she notices some positive changes, she will come for more. Even those who have a wrong orientation of sex cannot resist sex when it is great within the blessed confines of marriage. Their defences will crumble and they will yield to this “temptation” again and again. 

If all is well on this front and she is still avoiding it, you might need to see your counsellor to help you guys. Don’t go accusing her and arraigning her before the judge but rather go as a couple in need of help with this core aspect of your marriage. My wife and I have had the privilege of helping a number of couples this way.
Q: What books are those?
A: Intended for pleasure by Ed Wheats,

The act of marriage by Tim LaHaye

The Successful Marriage by Creflo Dollar

There are others, I am sure.
Q: Is it possible to access e-copy of these books

A: Intended for pleasure I am sure. Others, I don’t know.

Q: But, my advise, if you’re not about to get married, don’t read those books ooo. Images you don’t need now will fill your head and distract you powerfully.
Q: Songs of Solomon is good too 🙈
A: Songs of Solomon portrays romance not actually sex.
Q: I thought they were intertwined?

A: Great romance prepares for but does not always lead to great sex or sex at all. Romance means to celebrate a person and the companionship of the person and this does not always involve sex. Songs of Solomon does not detail really what this question requires as an answer.

It is well with you.