​Father’s Day: The Father Won’t Let Go.

Father’s Day: The Father Won’t Let Go

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.  In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out of the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.  He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.  Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a u-turn to swim to his father.
It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. An incredible tug-of-war between the two began. The alligator was much stronger than the father but the father was much too passionate to let go, and dug his nails into the little boy’s arms.
A farmer driving by heard the screams of the child, and after retrieving a rifle from his truck, raced to the water’s edge and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks in the hospital, the little boy recovered.
The local newspaper reporter interviewing the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars.  The little boy lifted his pant legs and said, “These are the scars from where the alligator tried to pull me under the water.”  Then, he rolled up his shirt sleeves and said, “Now look at my arms.  These are the scars where my father wouldn’t let me go.”
Each of us is marked.  Yes, there are scars we bear in our lives because of poor choices we have made.  But if we look closely, there are other marks we have incurred, where a loving sovereign God has refused to let us go.  At the time, His grip of grace may seem painful, but it is all for our protection, so that we may be preserved to live, and testify of His tender mercies that He reveals to us with each new day.

John 10:28  “. . . neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”

I came across this story and decided to share it because it blessed me.


Fathers in Heaven and on Earth

I went to visit a friend, Foluke Ajanaku Udeh, very many years ago when school was out. I saw a small framed statement in the living room and it stayed with me since then, 

“A father is someone you can look up to, no matter how tall you grow.”

My Dad fulfilled these words till he left to be with our heavenly father. I remember him fondly and with deep respect.

Happy father’s day to all fathers past, present and future and to the women who love them.

Q&A: Baby Steps

Hi there.
I had an interesting conversation with a lady friend (I’ll refer to her as “Elly”) about her very young marriage, less than a year old in fact. She was having some sort of problem that I think is very very common and I decided to share it here.

As always, it is with permission and you will learn a thing or two.

Elly: Good afternoon sir. How is work and the family?

PD: All is well. God is good.

Elly: Good to hear that sir.

PD: How far with you?
How is your home?

Elly: I’m fine sir…I bless God sir.

PD: Hope you’re taking good care of your husband?

Elly: Yes sir.

PD: Do you submit to him in everything? Or do you struggle sometimes?

Elly: Honestly Sir, I really struggle at times. It’s not easy at all.

PD: How so? Don’t you love him?

Elly: Hmmmmm … It is well Sir…. I love him but sometimes he does what I don’t like and that makes me to get tired.

PD: Is your submission or love for him based on when he does things you do like?

Elly: Not at all sir … I submit to him and respect him but it’s not always I concur with him…there are times we disagree and he won’t admit his fault by apologizing.

PD: So, you wish you could get a cane and flog his bom bom.

Elly: Hahahhahhhahaa

PD: What if he also thinks you’re wrong and is waiting for you to apologize?

Elly: That is the problem here … I’m always the one apologizing.

PD: You think that is a problem?

Elly: He will never admits his wrong.

PD: When he admits he is wrong, will you eat the admission? Or will you forgive him and move on?

Elly: I always forgive him and move on cos he won’t feel it so I just have to forgive and move on with life.

PD: Blessed is the woman who seeks how to get a thank you from her husband more than she seeks an apology.

Elly: But the devil always has a way of hurting someone….Sir I thank God that a burden was lifted off me via the just concluded Bible School … the evil thought has seized from my mind cos initially a thought will be coming to seek for divorce and sometimes I will be saying in my next world I won’t get married … but thank God those thoughts have gone … I’m happy now.

That’s the honest truth sir.

PD: 😊

Elly: And, Sir, I’m pregnant.

PD: I’ll share something with you.

Elly: Ok sir.

PD: Your marriage is young … Very young. … And you look around at marriages around you that look beautiful. You want yours to be as sweet as theirs. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Elly: Yes Sir… I want it to be sweet sir.

PD: But most likely, all the marriages you’re admiring are many years older than yours.

Elly: Hmmmmm….that’s true sir.

PD: Do you realise that a marriage gets better as it grows? It’s called maturing. It takes patience to enjoy a marriage.

Elly: Thank you sir.

PD: It’s just like having a baby. Every woman wants to have have her first baby. She’s eager for it. Gets excited when she’s pregnant. And when she eventually gets to term she has to labour and push the baby out. And then she thinks the worst is behind her … nothing could be further from the truth.

Once the baby is outside your body, it starts to exert its own will on your life. It makes selfish embarrassing demands which you must fulfill. You can’t sleep when you want, you can’t sit quietly for any length of time. The baby becomes so demanding that you nearly forget that you love the baby. All you see now is the stress.

I’ve heard of women who abort their pregnancies just because they already have a stressful baby in the house they are still trying to deal with. You know, the easiest way to end all the stress is to throw the child away but you see that most people don’t. You know why?

Elly: No Sir …why?

PD: Its because they know it’s just a phase.

Elly: Yea that’s true.

PD: They know from watching others that after some time, this stressful baby, with time, will grow up into a helpful young man or woman and mommy will start to enjoy some rest.

Elly: Hmmmmm.

PD: Hmmmm.

Your marriage is still a baby. It’s soiling itself, messing up everything, spilling things, wasting things and so on.

Its a phase.

E: Ok Sir…thank you very much. God bless you.

PD: If both you are genuine in your love for each other, and more importantly for God, you will weather the storm and then you will rest down the line.

Elly: God helping us. I’m really relieved this evening and I’ve also learned a lot this evening. I’m very grateful Sir… God bless you and your family.

Oh no … my ba3 is low now.

PD: I’ll leave some messages for you to read up later.

As I said earlier, Blessed is the woman who seeks how to get a thank you from her husband more than she seeks an apology.

You entered your marriage with the intention of making someone happy, not to make him sorry. Why not focus on the good you can do to him rather than the apology you so much want. Even if he apologises today, he will mess up again tomorrow so apology will never and but if for lack of apology, which is not in your power, you cut out gratitude, which you can do something about, your marriage will be a complete pain.

I learned something from a friend years ago, his name is Harry Doghor. It says, “Lord, help me seek to understand more than to be understood”.

So rather than fight to make someone understand my point, I will calm down and try to understand his point. The more I understand him, the better I can handle him and his errors in the future but in the meantime, my calming down has cancelled the present fight.

Of course, that makes you look like you lost because your rights were not respected but that is the way of the world. Instead of being denied our rights, we as sons of God are taught to give up our rights like Christ did when He became human and in the end became our saviour. You may have lost your rights but You have gained peace in the place of a fight in the now, and in the future, you get to be the saviour of your marriage.

If you can do his consistently, after some time, you will notice your husband will get the point, that you’re trying to help, not trying to fight and that is when he begins to respect you in that special way that you see in older marriages. At that point, you will be the winner for all to see but your victory starts now as you choose Gods way of winning.

Most times, when we mention submission, lesser men think it’s the excuse to oppress their wives and lesser women think it means being fools.

Those who know it for what it is know that it is the way for women to win their husband’s to their side.

1Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

You can win without fighting if you choose the way of the bible.

Elly: Thanks so much will abide by the way of the Bible so I can build my home. God bless you for me😀

PD: If your husband were here, I would pull his ear for making my sister cry but … you be strong. Going God’s way means God is with you.

Be at peace.

Elly: Amen… Thank you sir. 

PD: 👍🏽

Elly: Thank you Sir.

17 days later…

Elly: Good morning sir. Happy Easter to you and your family.

PD: Iyawo (means wife or, in this context, new bride). Happy easter o.

Elly: Wish you same here sir….Thank you Sir.

PD: How are things going with your hubby now?

Elly: Good afternoon sir. We are doing great sir…Thank you so much sir.

PD: 👍🏽
Would you be willing to share your experience with other young couples to help them too?

Elly: Yes sir…I will sir
Thank you so much sir
PD: Great.

With your permission, I will share our chat with friends so they too can benefit.

Elly: No problem sir

PD: 👍🏽

Understanding When to Date and Whom PT 22

There is one more thing I would like to point out as an indicator of spiritual immaturity and that is how the person’s life is affected by the word of God. I’ve always said if you want to know where a person stands, give him the truth, viz; the word of God.


So let’s apply this ultimate parameter and judge of our thoughts and actions. How does the word identify the immature Christian?

  1. The inability to effectively handle the word of God.

1Peter 2:2  As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.


Hebrews 5:13 – 6:2  For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.


Babies in Christ, are such as still struggle with the basic principles of God’s word as pertains their relationship, connection and ultimate end with God. Sometimes due to their lack of personal diligence to study the word for themselves or being unfortunate to fall into the hands of tricksters masquerading as teachers of the word of God, they remain unable to skillfully or correctly use the word of God as their compass for life in issues of morality, righteousness and faith towards God.

Ephesians 4:14 That we [henceforth] be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, [and] cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.

As long as one remains a baby, his mind is not renewed by the word and his mentality will remain God-less and thus prone to carnality.

  1. Lack of Spiritual Wisdom

1Corinthians 13:11  When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Luke 2:40  And the child grew [Greek:  to grow, enlarge] and waxed strong [Greek: increase in vigor] in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.


Colosians 3:16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

With wisdom being the right application of knowledge as drawn from the word of God, if the word of Christ is not dwelling in you richly enough to amount to wisdom, then the Bible says your thinking is still carnal and foolish and childish.


  1. The inability to understand the will of God

If lacking in spiritual wisdom is being carnal and immature, then consider this also.

Ephesians 5:17  Wherefore be ye not unwise[Greek: mindless, that is, stupid, ignorantegotistic, rash, or unbelieving:– fool or foolish or unwise], but understanding what the will of the Lord [is].

It means being unable to understand the will and mind of God on issues of life, both here and hereafter, is also a sign of immaturity.

  1. The inability to resist pride

The Apostle Paul, by the Spirit, in providing guidelines for choosing leaders for the church said this.

1Timothy 3:6  Not a novice [Greek: newly planted, that is, (figuratively) a young convert (“neophyte”): – novice], lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

This means the inability to resist pride and self glory, though not acceptable, is considered a flaw to which young converts are expectedly prone. Bear in mind that the scriptures describes babies in Christ as carnal.

1Corinthians 3:1, 3 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, [even] as unto babes in Christ … For ye are yet carnal: for whereas [there is] among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

That list of activities that suggest carnality, namely envying, and strife, and divisions, draws my mind to another list.

Galatians 5:19 – 21a  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like.

So it follows that to the extent that you manifest the works of the flesh in general, to that extent you are still carnally minded, a baby in Christ and a spiritually immature person. And this has nothing to do with how long a person has been in the church, saved and Holy Ghost filled, so to speak.

So you can see that assessing spiritual immaturity is really not as vague as we tend to think. Of course we would argue that only God can truly know a man and that is very, very, very true, still all I have pointed out here are things clearly stated in God’s Word and remember, God and His Word are one and the same. Still, consider this scripture:

Hebrews 4:12  For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart. [Amplified]

If analyzing people was not possible by a God-given trustworthy objective standard, then Jesus would not have said in Matthew 7:20 “… by their fruits ye shall know them.” You can be honest with yourself, considering all that you have read just before now, are you a baby in Christ? You can review this person that you are thinking of settling with by the same parameters and see if he measures up with what God would want you to have as a spouse.

This series has reached a point where a review/ summary would be helpful, right? We’ll do that soon.

Understanding When to Date and Whom PT 21

Further on identifying or recognizing spiritual immaturity, the last post looked at assessing yourself or your proposed spouse based on your personal observation of certain features and attributes, or the lack thereof, which are often considered to be signs of spiritual maturity while, in fact, they are not.

This installment is going to consider things from a more corporate perspective. There are things or settings and situations that seem to indicate that a person has come of “spiritual age” and these are based on how the person is viewed in the light of his corporate standing in the church.


Number of years in church

I remember it was a common humor point during teachings and discussions in my school fellowship many years ago to make reference to spiritual babies taking milk from feeding bottles and then describe those who have been in church for years and years but have remained babies still drinking milk only that their bottles are gigantic ones.

In the physical, a baby truly grows with time, so much so that a standard growth chart exists that matches expected height and body weight to number months and years since birth. Deviations of a significant degree would require investigation and intervention where possible. But we never assume that all it takes for a baby to grow properly and attain full adult stature and mature body organ functions is time. We all know that what a child eats contributes significantly to the growth rate and pattern. Other things like the particular environment, genetics and frequency of health setbacks also contribute to the final size, form and function of an individual over time.

1Peter 2:1  Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,

1Pe 2:2  As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.


A number of things in the above verses are worthy of note.

  1. Growth is not automatic. Spiritual maturity also depends on so much more than just the number of years spent in a church or the number of years since you got born again. If it was, it wouldn’t have said “may grow”.
  2. If all you feed on is devilish rubbish, you won’t grow at all. That’s why it lists some growth deterring items to take off your menu. It says, “laying aside”. Look up Colosioans 3:8, Ephesians 4:22 and you’ll get much the same gist. 2 Timothy 3:1-7 describes in greater detail and describes them as such as arre “ever learning but unable to come to the knowledge of the truth”.

Some things belong with the old man which has passed away with the new birth. Indulging in them is basically eating your vomit [eeeewwwwww!] and you can’t grow your spirit that way.

  1. Your spiritual diet must be balanced and age appropriate. It says “sincere milk”. If you don’t eat good balanced spiritual diet, you will either not grow at all or you won’t attain the full stature that is locked in your spiritual genes as a child of God. Poorly balanced doctrine or unscriptural teachings filling your head in church won’t grow your spirit; same goes for continuously exposing yourself to teachings you do not understand at all. (Matthew 13:18-23)

All this is possible in a sincerely born again God loving Christian and committed church member who is poorly fed and, no matter how long he/she or you stay in church without taking in the word of God, no growth will be recorded even if everyone mistakes you for a spiritual giant.


There’s more.

Understanding When to Date and Whom PT 20

We cannot possibly conclude a discussion on maturity without touching on the core of the human being – the spirit. For some who do not recognize this aspect of the human entity, this might be a bore but I am certain that for most Christians, this would be quite interesting the reason being that for a long time, this question has been a common feature in question and answer sessions of all sorts, but quite especially in the area of romantic relationships.


The question usually arises when people are told to only allow themselves get involved with people who are mature and being Christians, we naturally emphasize on spiritual maturity and then here comes the inevitable question, “How do we know a spiritually mature Christian?” From here on, the discussion never quite fully answers the question for most people in most of the audiences I have encountered; it breaks down into a free-for-all volley and counter volley of opinions and counter opinions. I think the reason is that the subject has not been studied significantly amongst those of us who profess this faith and even less amongst those who seek to provide the answers. It is my hope that by the time we are done with this series, you would be able to answer the question easily and clearly but more importantly, you would be able to assess yourself.

So now, as we have been doing thus far, using babies as our standard of absolute immaturity, we shall continue along the same line of thought, to wit, “Who is spiritually immature or who is a spiritual baby?”

For the longest time, I had read the scriptures again and again but it never really hit me that the Bible clearly describes who a spiritual baby is. I think it was a few years ago while I was thinking about something else that it just flew into my mind. The illumination helped me solve a problem back then but the insight has stayed with me ever since.

Let’s look at the scripture.

1Corinthians 3:1 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, [even] as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able [to bear it], neither yet now are ye able. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas [there is] among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

Speaking of the spirit, quite simply, spiritual immaturity is another expression for carnality. So, if you see someone walking and living with carnal principles rather than scriptural ones, that person is being a baby. This is as concise as it can get but so that I can drive home the point, let’s look at some other scriptures to highlight some of the things that often mislead us into thinking someone is spiritually mature.

  1. Reading the bible always

This is a very noble habit, very godly, but does it indicate maturity?

James 1:22-24  But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

No it does not. You can spend all your time reading and hearing the word of God but unless you’re doing what it says, you’re not mature.


       2. Praying frequently and loud

It’s quite common to respect folks who can lift their voices, when in corporate prayer, and pray eloquently. But does that mean they are mature?

Matthew 6:6  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

 No; loud public prayer can also be a sign of hypocrisy.


            3. “Walking” in the Spirit

I don’t know about you but I grew up around a time when walking in the spirit was thought to refer to walking gently and quietly in an unassuming manner with intent to portray ourselves as one who “can’t hurt a fly”. You walk around with a slight smile on your face, head slightly bowed, at a gentle pace and in shoes that would not make a sound. And if you were able, you would speak in King James Bible English language.

All this was to convey the impression of being a spiritually advanced Christian.


But is this what it means to walk in the spirit?

Galatians 5:24-25  And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires. If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit we have our life in God, let us go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.] –Amplified


Walking in the spirit refers to the spirit-led lifestyle of a believer and not a particular gait preference.


          4. What about gifts of the spirit like praying in tongues?

This is perhaps one of the commonest considerations and the most misleading because we are likely thinking, the Holy Spirit would not dwell and manifest through an unholy person, right? So, if the person has spiritual gifts, he must be holy and by extension, mature. That begs a question, does holiness not equal maturity? We’ll touch that later but for now … concerning spiritual gifts… the Apostle Paul wrote about this particular congregation.


1Corinthians  1:4-7 I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ; That in everything ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and [in] all knowledge; Even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you: So that ye come behind in no gift; waiting for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ:


This church did not lack any of the spiritual gifts, rather they had them in abundance but then it was to this same congregation that Paul wrote further.


1Cor 3:1 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, [even] as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able [to bear it], neither yet now are ye able. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas [there is] among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?


So … no. Having the gifts of the sprit in manifestation does not indicate spiritual maturity. It only indicates the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. If we understand properly that the gifts of the Spirit are actually gifts of the spirit and not gifts of the brother or sister, then we would realize that the presence of the gifts are not reflective of the saint but the Holy Spirit living in the saint. It is the Spirit’s special abilities displayed through the saint by faith and not a product of the saint’s special pursuit or acquisitions or height of spirituality.


So, how about the holiness bit? Is holiness not a requirement for the gifts of the spirit? The shocking answer is actually no. Personal holiness is not a requirement for the manifestation of the gifts of the spirit which is why Jesus warned thus,

Matthew 7:22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.


But for the Holy Spirit to move into a person in the first place, holiness is a critical requirement. This is accomplished by the sanctifying blood of Christ upon a person as they believe in Jesus and trust him for their salvation. Remember, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in every believer at new birth even though He does not manifest his special gifts; this indwelling would not have been possible if the person was not first washed clean by God himself.

Bottom line, neither manifestations of the gifts of the spirit nor holiness marks spiritual maturity.


There is more to come on this subject so don’t go away.

Understanding When and Whom to Date PT 19

The concept of maturity is a major issue in the success of relationships. It’s the one word that could potentially sum up all we need to be and have for a relationship to work out smoothly. This is why I am spending so much time on it and I do hope you consider it worth your while.

Last time on this series, we started talking about the human will. How does the operations of the will factor into assessing maturity?


As I mentioned previously, it is your will that gives you the capacity to choose and for that you are responsible for your choices and the actions that follow those choices. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to … absolutely no one. People blame the devil all the time (after they have been caught, mind you) but in reality all the devil can do is make tantalizing suggestions till our intellect is suspended and, with it, our sense of morality. Then our emotions take over and suddenly our reasoning is no longer based on logic but on personal desire and we make a decision, a choice, to do that wrong deed. That’s how it works every time … every time.

James 1:14  But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

Genesis 3:6  And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

God certainly doesn’t make anyone do anything. He doesn’t violate the human will … He created man to be a free moral agent just like Himself and He holds Himself to that decision. The Bible documents God’s interaction with lots of people and in not one single occasion do we see Him forcing His will on them. Rather, He makes the options clear as well as their consequences and proceeds to invite them to make the wise choice for the beneficial option. I know God will not violate any human will because if he could, everyone would be born again by now but yet we reduce His advances every time and people are still dying and going to Hell in spite of the fact that God doesn’t want them to.

2Peter 3:9  The Lord is … not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Born again Christians are not under His remote control either. We each have found ourselves battling with the will of God at one time or the other, knowing what He wants us to do but refusing to go ahead and get it done for any number of personal reasons. For God to be able to get us to do anything He wants, we have to yield or surrender to Him. Jesus is savior to a lot of us but He is not Lord to that many because we have to surrender our wills to Him for Him to be Lord over us. The human will is the final frontier of human autonomy; surrendering it to someone merges you with that person. That’s what submission is; letting someone else decide what should be done, and complying with the decision made, even when you have the power to choose what you wish.

The absence of submission is what is called rebellion and this is one of the character traits you expect to find in children. The very thing you ask them not to do is what they want to do and until they have done it, they won’t forget about it. If you’re a parent, you find you often have to subdue your child to keep him in line. Explaining the options and their consequences only begins to work as the child grows up and even then, there are always new limits to be tested and they will test those limits just to see what you would do.

There are people, I’m sure you’ve met some, who just seem to like to make trouble no matter what team they are in. Just because the leader says to stand up, they will choose to sit and when everyone is asked to sit, they will find a reason to stand up. Anyone could get them to do anything but should the person making the request have any form of authority over them, the first reaction is to refuse. They would likely disagree before they even fully understand what the point being made is.

I think part of the reason is the fear of being taken for granted and being considered less than what you feel you really are. It’s a big deal to some people. This tendency makes it difficult for them to submit and serve and that in itself is a sign of immaturity. If being so afraid to be mistaken for a servant makes you refuse to submit and serve, you’re not mature yet.Let’s call this point #6.

Furthermore, blaming someone else or the devil for your mistakes and failing to take responsibility for your actions is immaturity. It means you expect someone else to be making decisions for you concerning things that you have power over. If that’s you, you’re still a baby and you have some maturing to do.