Sex Starved

Q: “Myself and my wife are both Christians. I enjoy sex and I love it but my wife doesn’t feel that way. She comes around only when it is time to make a baby and she is ready. After that she returns to her normal self. How can this be handled?”

A: This situation is actually quite common. 

Usually, it’s either because someone has a wrong impression of sex from many years of hearing about sexual sins and bad sex stories about guys and how they boast of it or it could be due to poor satisfaction with the sexual encounters. It could also be due to a lack of romance on your part. If her femininity is only celebrated when you want to have sex, she will detest sex with you. 

So, a good place to start is whether you treat her well during sex. If she enjoys sex with you, she would likely come back for more. 

Do you prepare her well? Do you engage her in foreplay or do you just grab her and go? Perhaps you didn’t do all these on your first sexual encounter on your wedding night and the memory lingers. She now has to wait for baby making time when her own body has primed itself to make sex more comfortable.

You might need to get sex help books to study and know what I mean so that the next time she comes to you on her own, by the time she notices some positive changes, she will come for more. Even those who have a wrong orientation of sex cannot resist sex when it is great within the blessed confines of marriage. Their defences will crumble and they will yield to this “temptation” again and again. 

If all is well on this front and she is still avoiding it, you might need to see your counsellor to help you guys. Don’t go accusing her and arraigning her before the judge but rather go as a couple in need of help with this core aspect of your marriage. My wife and I have had the privilege of helping a number of couples this way.
Q: What books are those?
A: Intended for pleasure by Ed Wheats,

The act of marriage by Tim LaHaye

The Successful Marriage by Creflo Dollar

There are others, I am sure.
Q: Is it possible to access e-copy of these books

A: Intended for pleasure I am sure. Others, I don’t know.

Q: But, my advise, if you’re not about to get married, don’t read those books ooo. Images you don’t need now will fill your head and distract you powerfully.
Q: Songs of Solomon is good too 🙈
A: Songs of Solomon portrays romance not actually sex.
Q: I thought they were intertwined?

A: Great romance prepares for but does not always lead to great sex or sex at all. Romance means to celebrate a person and the companionship of the person and this does not always involve sex. Songs of Solomon does not detail really what this question requires as an answer.

It is well with you.


Hey Doc!: Painful Nipples


I have this issue of vaginal discharge and my pharmacists has given me drugs and an inserter which I used but then I see this whitish discharge with odour seems like its the drugs coming out … I have explained to the pharmacists he said after my treatment today I shuld wait for four days  before coming to him if there is no change … although there is a reduction in the smell and discharge is there hope?? Or what should I do … cause I still somewhat feel pain on my nipples. 


Pain in the nipples, apart from poor breastfeeding techniques, is common around ovulation. You can take charge of that as well by your faith.

However, it has nothing to do with vaginal discharge. Foul smelling vaginal discharge is a sign of certain kinds of infections. Please, see a doctor for your treatment, not a pharmacist. I know folks would think I’m doing professional beefing against pharmacists but that’s not what’s going on here. Even amongst doctors, there are specialists in women’s health so if you have the opportunity, see a gynaecologist rather than a generalist.

And your pharmacist or nurse, should know that they owe patients the duty of care to get them the best service available. 

None of us will meet a panel beater to fix the problems in the engines of our cars simply because the panel beater works in the same vicinity and as part of a team with a trained mechanic.

So, sister, see a doctor. There is plenty of hope. I met a sister who complained and complained of discharge for so long she and I were tired. She thought she wouldn’t enjoy sex, she got married and with some counselling from my wife, she did. She thought she wouldn’t get pregnant, she did. She thought she wouldn’t have a smooth delivery, but much to her surprise, she did. Now she is a happy mother to a beautiful girl. 

So relax, as long as you’re alive and Jesus is alive, all is well.


Lessons from the Book of Joshua

​Joshua 24: … the seed of Terah …

Since it was God speaking and He mentioned Terah, Abraham’s father, it confirms to me that God had dealings with Terah much like He had with his son. 

Genesis 11:31-32  And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son’s son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram’s wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt [settled] there.  And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran. 

I’ve had course to study the maps and it was clear that a journey towards Canaan beginning from Ur could very well pass through Haran. 

Genesis 15:7  And He said unto [Abraham], I [am] the LORD that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it. 

God said He brought Abraham out from Ur but it was from Haran, Abraham must have started. It would mean that the initial directive to move to a place unknown was given to Terah who came upon Haran and decided to settle there. However, God who always works all things to His plan was actually calling Abraham through his father but Abraham didn’t hear God until after his father died and left him in charge.

Terah settled for less than what he potentially had access to. Who knows, maybe we could have been referring to Terah as the father of faith, the temporary holding place for the souls of dead saints before the cross of Christ would have been called the Bossom of Terah rather than the Bossom of Abraham and we would have been called the seed of Terah.

Anyway, it’s quite clear that God will accomplish what He set out to do. He invites us to partner with Him but should we drop the ball, His plan will not be stopped, He’ll simply call another to take our place.

1Kings 19:14-19  And Elijah said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, [even] I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.  And the LORD said unto him … yet I have left [me] seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.  So he departed thence, and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who [was] plowing [with] twelve yoke [of oxen] before him, and he with the twelfth: and Elijah passed by him, and cast his mantle upon him. 

1Samuel 13:13-14  And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him [to be] captain over his people, because thou hast not kept [that] which the LORD commanded thee. 

1Samuel 15:26-29  And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.  And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent.  And Samuel said unto him, The LORD hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, [that is] better than thou. 

1Sa 15:29  And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he [is] not a man, that he should repent. 

My prayer, for myself and for you, is that God will not have a reason to replace us in His glorious eternal plan. 

Do not settle; I know I won’t.

Revelations of the Heart


My question is as a brother who is sure about what God told you about a sister as your life partner but she decided to reject based on personal reasons, which isn’t that convincing enough to let go, but you decided to leave her to her decision. Am I as a brother supposed to still dwell on the same revelation from God for another sister or what is to be done?


Revelation does not guarantee cooperation. 

As long as another person’s will is involved, it’s not automatic. The fact that God says something doesn’t mean it will come to pass, people have to agree with him. Classic example are the Israelites. God freed them from Egypt to inherit Canaan but they died in the wilderness. It was their children who later cooperated with God and entered in.

Same thing with the salvation message. So many before us have disbelieved the Gospel but we have believed and have been saved because the preaching of the Gospel didn’t cease.

In the same way, sir, if you preach the Gospel of your love by revelation to a sister and she disbelieves, go back to God to tell you what next to do which might involve pointing you to another person. 

If you throw away divine direction because you hit a rough road, you will wreck badly. God is still your best counsel.

Hey Doc!: Menstrual Pains


Sir, what is the cause of menstrual cramp?

Overtime, I do have very painful period despite my reduction of sugar intake,  so I take drugs to subside the pain. But I was told taking drugs to ease the pain could have future complications. What can I do about it?

Lastly, sometimes I do see what I will term abnormally huge blood clot, should I be concerned sir?


Good question.

Painful menstruation, also called dysmenorrhea, is an entity long studied but not fully understood as to why it occurs in some and not in others. 

It can be caused by some well known pathologies though but for most people, the cause is unknown. So you might choose to see a doctor to identify which applies to you.

Contrary to many myths around it, there is nothing beyond it that should bother you apart from the pain. It does not affect fertility and is not caused by high sugar intake. The sugar gist is just native doctor medicine online.

Taking pain killers to control the pain does not do anything to your reproductive system, please. Of course all drugs have side effects but taking pain killers will not stop you from enjoying sex (with your husband) nor will it complicate delivery later.

The blood clot, the abnormally large blood clot you see is no big deal. The menstrual flow is not a calibrated or regulated process and is thus not consistent. If your body secreted more endometrium building hormones this cycle than the last one, you will have more endometrium (which you call blood) to shed this month. It should only become a bother if you consistently shed large amounts for more than 7 days and/or you always get very dizzy during menstruation, enough to require hospitalization for IV fluids or blood transfusion. 

If that’s not the case, just change your sanitary pad regularly and have your fun.

Finally, as believers, you have the right to banish painful menstruation from your life for ever so that all you’ll need do is get a fresh pack of pads and your high heeled shoes to catwalk on the devil’s head.

I’ve prayed with a number of ladies and they were freed, testimonies abound amongst believers from all over the world in his regard.

If you want to be free from it, in Jesus’ name, I set you free today.

Come back with your testimony.


Lessons from the Book of Joshua

Joshua 23:15-16 … The good land

Many years back, when I was posted to a region I’d never been and that most people in my life would avoid like a plague, I prayed and God said to me, “Anywhere you go with the promises I have made to you becomes your promised land”. Folks are fighting Israel for their land thinking it’s the land that makes them great but it’s the other way round; it’s the blessed people working the ground that make the land great. Baalam said, “I cannot curse those whom God has blessed” and David said of such blessed people, “Anything he lays his hands upon shall prosper”.

This was the story of Joseph in Egypt; he never let go of the promises of his God and he didn’t let go of the God of his promises and, therefore, he prospered in everything and in every place. “The passionate longing of all of creation is the manifestation of the Sons of God”. The earth, the land, the world is waiting for those who know what to do to make it blossom to step up and step in. It is those of us who walk in the consciousness of the promises that God has made concerning us in the scriptures that have access to the wisdom of God to bring out the best of anything.

Perhaps, the reason I am struggling is not because where I am is not good but because I am not good. It’s not because the land is not good for me but because I am not good for the land; I have not been good to the land; I have not be fair to the land; I have failed to help the land achieve its fullest productivity.  He said “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good of the land but if you rebel, you shall be destroyed. These are the options, God has said so”. If you think and operate like this, you would realize quite quickly that God is everywhere and you can prosper everywhere but far beyond that, everywhere can be made to prosper once you get involved … once you get the divine aspect of your life involved.

The prosperity of your family is in your hands, the profitability of your place of employment is in your hands, the prosperity of your locality and your nation is completely up to you now. 

“Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”.

The blessing is literally everywhere you go. Numbers 23:8, Isaiah 1:9-10, Psalm 23:6

PS: I am still living in that much avoided region, God told me to stay and, till date, I have no reason to regret it. I am eating the good of the land. When He decides it’s time to move, I will follow Him.