Raising Men

I woke up some days ago to discover that I had missed the International day for the male child. I was surprised 😱 that there is actually a day like that, and I missed it (especially being a mother of boys😓). I did take solace in the fact that I celebrate my boys all the time.

I started doing my chores for the day but couldn’t stop thinking about the male child and what it must be like being one growing up in a time when the male child is becoming an endangered species. I also thought about myself being a mum to boys, and told myself again that no matter how great a mum I am or can be, I can never train or raise a boy to become a man. No matter how hard I try, I can’t give what I don’t have. I have never been a man and will never be. I am not saying that with sadness in my heart but with an understanding of what God created and intended. I know my place in His scheme of things, and it’s not from a disadvantaged point of view.

Before I go any further, I don’t mean any ill towards our single mothers out there so please don’t get angry at my post but listen to my heart and your spirit especially if you are born again and have the spirit of God in you. It’s easy to think that I don’t understand what you are going through because I am married, which of course is true, for I do not know your peculiar circumstance. But I do know that what you are experiencing is not what God intends for you, and I pray that you discover God’s original intent for your life as you let him heal your heart and guide you into it.

I have never experienced what you have but I have experienced being raised by a single mum who did everything within her power to make sure I had the best in life, and I also know how growing up without a father felt like. I grew up always yearning for the love of a father in my life and I can still remember how I felt looking at my neighbours who had both parents and, even in the heart of a little girl, I knew I was missing something. That yearning got filled when I found Christ and got embraced by a heavenly father who loves me unconditionally. I found safety and mentorship in God’s house by good men God placed in my life.

My message to any woman out there who has a son is that you let your son be raised by a man who knows what it is to be a man. Let your husband raise your boys. If there is no man in your home to do so, get a man in your community to do so. It doesn’t have to be someone you are romantically involved with. Get a godly man to teach your boy how to be a man as God intended. Not a man the world wants, because the world has lost it, but one after God’s own heart.

Let’s start raising men, people.

Dr Linda Oyanna is a public speaker on health, relationship, marriage and family. She is a mother figure, mentor and role model for several young ladies who desire the balance she has been able to achieve among her many roles.